Waiting Undoes Me

Waiting undoes me.

They promised snow, the thick, wet kind, which sends all good Southerners scurrying for bread and milk. They said if you lived in the shaded blue area with tiny crisscrosses, expect at least ten inches to fall on your head. Immediately. They said to expect power outages.

The snow hasn’t arrived, and so we wait with bathtubs full of water and sleds itching to race down the street.

But this isn’t about waiting for the snow, it’s about waiting in life.

It’s about waiting for the guy or the degree or the tiny life inside of you to arrive. Waiting for a job or a response. Waiting for test results. Waiting for a sign, which tells you to push forward or retreat to safety.

I am waiting for the house to wake up so I can make French toast (what else am I going to do with all of the bread?). In thirteen hours, I will be waiting for the house to go to sleep (oh, a solid five minutes of glorious silence).

And here comes the part about being undone.

In the waiting is where I start to itch, to feel uncomfortable. It’s where I decide to listen to every Eagles song ever made, and then rank them, twice.

It’s where I doubt what I have scrawled on my bathroom mirror.

. . . I know what I am doing. I have it all planned out, plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.  Jeremiah 29:11

In the waiting, I act on my own. I walk outside in my pajamas and stand on the dark, front porch willing the sky to sputter white flakes. I watch cars drive by, and I squint my eyes in an attempt to find ten inches of snow on the hood of my neighbor’s car.

But white flakes don’t fall from above and neither do answers.

God allows me to wait.

It’s His way of saying “Back off.”

I don’t like to back off. I try to tell God I am more of a jumper in-er. He doesn’t listen.

I hope you aren’t expecting a sweet lesson at the end of this post because I refuse to tell you how much I am growing in the waiting.

Instead, I will tell you a good friend dropped this scarf off at my house yesterday.

It is the best scarf ever created, and I plan on wearing it every day for the rest of my life. It is both knit and sheer. Plus, it is grey. Plus, it contains a combination of brown and cream stripes and dots. Plus, it matches everything.

It’s not what I was waiting for, but I love it just the same.

This scarf reminded me about surprises which come in the waiting, which by the way, is not a sweet lesson about waiting, but merely a fact.

Your turn. Tell me about the waiting you are doing. Tell me about a time in which you waited for an answer. Tell me you like my new scarf.

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Linking with Sharita

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  • Well, yes, I DO like your scarf! 🙂 …But I can totally relate today to your topic of “waiting”. As I’ve moved foward over the past couple of weeks – assessing needs of children at risk in my community and trying to discern how to become involved — I’m seeing two particular paths, both of which will surely use every skill I possess (and many more God will have to teach me along the way!)… and both paths will hold blessings beyond my imagination — and heartache beyond my desire. Both are things that have been on my heart for many, many years. But I’m continuing to explore both options … and waiting on God to lead. I’m praying for clarity as both directions hold so much potential for my community — and the thought of turning away from either one is heartwrenching — and yet one person cannot take on both. Perhaps God will use my vision to draw in another person to fill the empty spot. Who knows? That’s part of the wait. I’ll greatly appreciate your prayers tomorrow as I have a very important meeting that should shed light on my decision. May God go before me and prepare our conversation…

  • Love your scarf 🙂 You already know how this whole Cincinnati thing has happened in the midst of a long waiting spell. Waiting is so hard, but when we finally relax into it, it seems like the dominoes all start to fall one by one. Praying for your dominoes to start falling into place. Soon!

  • Waiting to write again. That’s all. Okay, probably not, but that seemed appropriate for this space.
    Waiting to answer your e-mail. Hoping to do that tomorrow 🙂 Miss you!!!

  • Love the scarf! Where can I get one?? Waiting with you! for the BIG storm.

  • Waiting… never feels like a sweet lesson to me either 🙂 I hate it. I want to know and figure it out and do the very best. It pains me. I hope you got the snow… and a snow day. And I love the sweater and how God does surprise us. He’s good that way, even when we are impatient. (I am impatient for my writing career to come together…)

  • I love these lines from John Waller:
    While I’m waiting
    I will serve You
    While I’m waiting
    I will worship
    While I’m waiting
    I will not faint
    I’ll be running the race
    Even while I wait

    So often we do nothing in the waiting, which is dumb because that is a lot of time wasted. Waiting builds character and tests obedience, I think. But it is hard of course. Not quite as hard, though, when you get really cool scarves randomly in the middle of it all. Miss you!

  • Waiting is quite painful. It does make us be forced to hone in on what the Lord wants which sustains us when it might hurt in the waiting. I have had fits, like crazy stomp feet, wave arms, shake head and cry in the waiting…….does it help? NO!

    Oh, and yes, love the scarf, have fun in the snow!

  • i’ve gotten better with waiting over the years. i think it has less to do with maturity than an ability to read in every situation thanks to modern technology. short waits, long ones, spiritual, physical, emotional, no matter. i just read.

    and i was jealous of the scarf even before i read the post.

  • Well, I’m not waiting on the snow! Knee deep in it, literally. However, I do so love the surprises that come in the waiting. Sometimes it’s God showing up and turning my bad day around. I just call out to Him in my hopelessness and He changes everything. And my friend from Cincinnati insisting we come out and stay with her family so they can just “love on us”.

  • I love your scarf – it is lovely! And about the waiting. Urgh. That’s all I have to say about that. Because I get it. And am waiting. And waiting. And waiting.

  • Waiting can be so hard, but there are always lessons to be learned in the down time aren’t there? And His timing is always perfect in the end. I am waiting too and my heart is restless at times but I know the Creator has “this” and creating me is a process 🙂 Your scarf is lovely – what a nice friend you have!

  • Hi Amy! Visiting from Simply Beth: Friday Randomness. So happy Beth introduced me to your blog. It is lovely, as are you and your writing.

    Waiting…yes, there are surprises in the waiting. The scarf is very cute!

    Finding Joy in the waiting is so hard! God often puts us into situations where we have to wait in order to learn this precious lesson. My lessons on Waiting began in Belgium – where we lived for almost 3 years. My life slowed to a snails pace. From in-your-face, everything is immediate USA, to no one is in a rush, easy-breezy Europe. What a shock it was to me.

    But, the lessons I learned – Finding Joy in the Waiting, the Value in living a life of Simplicity, The Peacefulness found in the landscapes of the Farmland and rolling hills – Priceless.

    Blessings…may your waiting be full of wonderful surprises.


  • Totally love your scarf… Hope it matches your pajamas so you never have to take it off!

    What am I waiting for? I am waiting for my husband to come home. It’s so hard not to be angry or bitter with the army when we are apart. (I try not to care about Valentine’s Day but it rarely works. We are 0-5 Vdays spent together so far in our relationship.)

    We have spent much time in life waiting– waiting for a baby, waiting for order to know what will be our next duty station, waiting. But God ALWAYS comes through — even if we didn’t expect the answer He gives us. I love the quote by Henry Blackaby: “Waiting is one of hardest yet most important things we do as Christians.” AMEN.