Quit Lip Syncing or You Will End Up on a Dark Stinky Stage

In fifth grade, my friends and I signed-up for a school-wide talent show. 

I secretly dreamed of standing on stage and reciting poetry. However, I was socially aware enough to know reciting poetry on stage translates into eternal dorkdom, and I decided to showcase my skills in a much more hip way: lip-syncing Madonna’s “Like A Virgin”.

Hello, adults, where were you?

My lip-syncing, dance crew realized a rocking performance takes planning and preparation, and we threw ourselves into both. Preparation included figuring out answers to the following important questions:

What would we wear?

What color puffy paint should accent our shoes?

Should we leave our hair down or pull it back?

Could we possibly sneak some “stage make-up” from our mothers?

And again, what would we wear?

Although our group met frequently, we never practiced our dance routine. We all knew the song, so mouthing the words came easily, and the dance steps? Oh, those little details always fall together. Right?

Wrong.

The dance steps never actually fell together, and on the day of the talent show, our five, person crew stood on a dark stage in a stinky gym. A red jam box blared something about “being touched for the very first time”. We mouthed words into our fake microphones, and danced the one move we knew: step, sway, step, sway, step sway.

Pretending to dance for three minutes on a dark stage taught me two things:

1. No one pays attention to matching, puffy painted shoes in a dark, stinky gym.

2. God gives us talents, all of us, but ignoring your talent (poetry), and going for a cooler talent (lip-syncing) doesn’t work.

Let's hear it. Any funny talent show stories? Tell me I wasn't the only one showcasing my skills on stage. Is there a skill you have, but don't embrace?

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