A Question and Not a Post

Around these parts, I talk about serving.

Recently, I heard a statement:

We are so busy helping the church that we are just too tired to help the community.

We pour our energy into small groups and kids' programs and the church garage sale, but we don't leave the church bubble/holy huddle.

Let’s discuss, shall we?

 True? False? True for people you know, but not true for you? False, false, false. Do tell. I’m curious.

Here are some flowers just in case this question makes you grumpy. I was going to include a picture I have of candy, but I thought that might make you even more grumpy since you can't actually reach through the screen and eat the candy.

Did you know I'm working on a special project for you? Yep, it's because I like you, and it's because I have a new addiction.

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When You Forget About Your Skills

Recently, I attended a birthday party for some women I know, and each time I think back on the party my heart dances. The presents these ladies received were simple. Think travel-sized lotions and make-up bags, but these tiny gifts induced giggles and smiles.

Even more than lotion and make-up bags, these women loved being celebrated. Don’t we all? Another party is coming, and I wanted to contribute to the celebration, but I didn't have anything to give.

So, I looked in our closet and found these goodies bought on super sale for a party I hosted, but never handed out.

In the bag, these boxes don’t look fabulous, but line them up, and bam! 

But, empty boxes aren’t a great gift even if they do have sparkly, blue butterflies on them. So I dug under my bed and found this coated in dust.

It’s jewelry making supplies, and even though I couldn't remember how to string together elaborate designs, I still came up with these.

Then, I enlisted my girl, and she added a little flair to our butterfly boxes.

Ta-da, gifts for the birthday girls.

This process reminds me we all have things to give. No, maybe not butterfly boxes, but talents hidden under our beds, dusty from years of no use. 

Dust off your talents. Someone is in need of your mad skills.

What are your underused talents? Baking? Listening? Painting? I'd love to know.

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Linking with the SDG girls.
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Statistics Show You Will Not Stand Up

Each day we are faced with choices.

Will we act or will we watch and walk on?

Hopefully, you aren't waiting for someone else to act. Statistics show they won't.

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But this is only one case. The Bystander Effect can't happen often, right?

Think about Nazi Germany, Rwanda, and these 10 Notorious Cases of the Bystander Effect.

Praying you find courage to stand up even when it's hard.

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A Slug Named Spider

This morning she discovered a two-inch slug and named him Spider. She quickly decided he was too brown and proceeded to color Spider with green sidewalk chalk. Shortly after, she confessed the two were best friends. She picked a handful of weeds for her new accomplice to munch and declared today his birthday. Then, she scooped him up and carried him to the swings. Um, yes, at this point Spider was dead, rest in peace, slimy one.

As I sat on the porch and watched her three-year-old day unfold, I thought about the opportunity we each have for daily celebration.

Yes, we celebrate when big things go right, your kid makes the team and you get the job, but we also have the opportunity to celebrate barking dogs, weed eaters that hum, and slugs named Spider.

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This post was written for Five Minute Fridays where writers are give a topic and asked to write for five minutes without worrying if it’s just right. To read more from other writers, click here.

Questions for you: What opportunities will you embrace and celebrate today? Oh, and is it normal to find a dried-up worm in your child's bed? You know, hypothetically speaking, of course.

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She Made Me Cry

She who? She Jen Hatmaker, that’s who.

I’m not a cryer. Sure, I cry at weddings and sometimes when a certain song plays. I cry when I look at pictures of my girls from the first few minutes of their lives, and I cry while watching reruns of Family Ties, but typically, I’m not a cryer, especially about things I read in books.

However, Jen Hatmaker made me cry.

A group of about 35 (wowzers!) of us are joining together for an online book club, and we are reading Jen Hatmaker’s book, 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess. Last week, I talked about the excess in my closet. I made a vlog with my friend, discussed hosting a clothing swap, and the post was light and fun.

This week, I’m talking about Month Three in the book. The topic: possessions. Not so light, not so fun. Let me catch you up.

On Easter Sunday, the author, Jen, found herself challenged in church.

That day, the person speaking to the church had just met with a local homeless community, and he asked the homeless if they had any needs. The people replied they needed shoes. Wearing hand-me-downs was fine, but since the homeless walk a lot, not only do they have back and feet problems, but they have a need for good shoes.

The speaker then asked the congregation if they would consider taking off their shoes and socks and leaving them on the altar for the homeless.

Here’s the part where I get worked up:

In the book, when Jen writes about leaving her brand, new Christmas boots on the altar of that tiny church on Easter, I cried. Not because oh, wow, leaving your shoes on the altar is such a touching symbol and a tender gesture, but I cried because even after my family and I have been engaging in a full blown war on the accumulation of stuff and our selfish attitudes, one fact remains: I would not leave my new Christmas boots.

Wouldn’t do it.

I want to say I would leave my new boots, and of course, you would probably leave your boots because you aren’t attached to your possessions and shallow. But me, I’d already be thinking of another pair of boots, an older pair of boots, a crappy cast-off pair of boots, that I could just zip on over and leave at the church the next day.

I’m sorry poor homeless girl with back problems.

My reaction to Jen’s story, and the fact that I love my stuff more than I love the homeless makes me cry, and it's not an Alex P. Keaton type of cry. It's more of a heartsick kind of cry.

One of my favorite lines from the above song is "Being caught in all you wish for and all you seem to be". Isn't that where we all live? Caught between who He created us to be, who we are, and what we seem to be.

Get the Kleenex, people. 

 What possessions do you grip tightly? Have you ever given something away you weren't ready to part with or that you truly loved? Are there any silly or serious things that always move you to tears? Let's hear it, friends.  

Want to hear what impacted other book clubbers in this week's reading? Go take a peek:

Month 3: Courtney

Months 3 and 4: Amy Y.

Months 3 and 4: Jess
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Ten Lessons I Learned from My First Year of Writing

Recently, a friend posted about 10 lessons she learned from her first week as a full-time writer. Unashamed, I snagged her idea. Thanks, MD.

1.  Act like a writer. This means even if you can’t afford to attend big writing conferences, make an effort to connect with other writers. How? One of my favorite ways to feel like a writer is to go hear an author speak locally. Granted this is easy for me because I live in a place that pops with creativity. However, authors also show up at local malls, and let’s be real, book signings don’t always have big lines or smashing turnouts, so authors are actually happy to see interested peeps.

2.  Share good news and update readers on your offline writing. I signed with an agent. Yes, I did. It was a few weeks ago. I think I spoke to her for twenty minutes without breathing once. In fact, now that I replay it, I’m pretty sure our conversation was a fairly one-sided stream of nonstop babble. In the end, I pitched three book ideas, broke every rule you are supposed to follow when an agent calls, and I might have said, “I love you”. I’m hoping that last part just happened in my head. 

3.  Take a bath. If you don’t feel like a bath, take a shower. The best ideas come when you quit forcing them, and that brings us to the next point.

4.  Force your ideas out. Write, even when you don’t feel like it.

*I realize the last two points contradict each other. Doesn’t matter, both true.

5.  Answer yes. When people ask you if you write, do not go on some rambling tangent (see lesson two) just answer yes. I'm still working on this, still working.

6.  Set imaginary deadlines for yourself and meet them. Right now, I’m writing a proposal for a new book. I will have that bad boy finished next week. Period. What happens if I don’t? Nothing, but I’m going to do it anyway.

7.  Realize idea to draft to book is a long process and even if you have a brilliant idea and work your boo-tay-tay off, if may not happen. Enough said.

8.  Write about something you love. I have been writing about serving others as a family for almost two years. Two years. Glad I happen to love this topic otherwise I’d be crazy.

9.  Be content even if the only place you publish is on a blog. I used to think if I held a book in my hand with my name typed (in a super fabulous font) on the cover, I’d be content with my writing efforts. I know this isn’t true. Why? It’s the same reason I thought if I ate one double stuffed Oreo I’d be happy. It sounds good, tastes great, but I always want more. Contentment needs to be found right where you are standing.

10.  Get out and appreciate the rainbows. Earlier tonight, I forced myself to go for a walk. I didn’t want to because the kids were in bed, and it was quiet, and I usually get thirty-three minutes a day for writing (exaggerating, but not by much). Anyway, out I went, and guess what I saw? The biggest, fattest, brightest rainbow arched right over my head. Don't forget to participate in life.

Are there any lessons you are learning as you chase those wild dreams of yours?

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Linking with SDG.


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Thoughts on Play

I remember my favorite park as a child.

Girl sporting the sailor outfit = me.

A giant, pipe-like, jungle gym with faded out, colored pieces connecting the bars. Two metal slides, one twenty-five feet high for the risk takers and a smaller version for the weak. Two, wooden teeter-totters that allowed me to assist the bossy, neighbor girl in accidentally becoming airborne. A saucer with the metal head of a smiling bear perched on the edge for little hands to tightly grip as the saucer sailed in circles, and then, the witch’s hat. Oh, that glorious piece of playground equipment. Too young to remember? Maybe this will help.

That’s me in the center holding the older girl’s hand. Fine, that’s a lie. I’m not in this picture, but that’s a witch’s hat, and as it sailed up and down and round and round, it made you scream for your life and for the sheer fun of it, all at the same time.

Oh, and if you fell…

No soft recycled bits of tire or tiny wood chips would break your impact. You crashed on the hard ground, in the dirt, on top of rocks, and you know what? It never got old, never.

As a child, I could spend hours at the park, and I did.

Today as I look around my neighborhood do you know what is missing? Witch’s hats? Um, obviously, but no. I don’t see enough kids. Don’t get me wrong, I see kids. I see them shuttled back and forth from one activity to the next, but rarely do I see kids playing.

Apparently, kids aren’t just absent from my neighborhood, kids are missing from outdoor activities in general, and that my friends is something the nonprofit, organization KaBoom calls The Play Deficit.

KaBoom isn’t taking this Play Deficit lightly. In fact, KaBoom believes lack of play is causing profound social, emotional, and physical harm to our kids, but instead of just whining and throwing statistics at you, KaBoom works to do something about it.

Encourage play.

They do this by building playgrounds, handing out grant money to spruce up already existing playgrounds, making a national effort to map out and rate every playground in the US, and much, much more. As in you need to click on the site to see how much more.

Now questions for you. Tell about your favorite piece of old time playground equipment or tell about the kids surrounding you. Do they play? Do your kids play? Do you?

Oh, tell you how this is related to family service? You just wait. I have a special surprise coming your way, and no, it's not in the form of green dollar bills, it's in the form of links, fabulous links, and it has to do with serving your family this summer, and making play a priority.

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On Starting Small

People don't start because starting always begins small. We don't like small. We want to start in grand ways with fireworks, parades, and life changing stories, but that's not how real change begins.

Real change begins small.

Recently, I followed a friend as she walked the steps of starting small and quickly found herself plopped in the center of something big, really big, loving on girls involved in sex trafficking. Now, I know this subject is a hot one for you because every time I post about it, I get email from women longing to help young girls and searching for ways to get involved.

But my friend's story starts small.

She went and listened to the founder of one of the only homes in the country specifically created for girls involved in sex trafficking.

She was shaken by the heaviness she felt even days after hearing the talk.

She decided to meet the needs of the girls in a real way, with soap, toilet paper, deodorant, a party with a purpose, and picture frames that inspired. 

She delivered the goods and came face to face with two girls, and we both discovered that sometimes a trampoline symbolizes hope.

She determined involvement from a distance wasn't enough.

She signed-up to do something, anything, to work with these girls, and recently she attended a training session.

Here are words from my friend.

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I signed up to be a volunteer and just this past weekend went to a training session. I’m not exactly sure what I’ll be doing there – it could be something as simple as driving the girls to different appointments to cooking them meals to teaching them a Bible class to whatever.


I honestly don’t care if they just need me to scrub the toilets for them. I just want to show these girls, these broken girls who have had their childhood and innocence stolen – I just want to show them how very much loved they are. How beautiful they are. How valued and precious they are. That no part of their past is too big or too ugly or too damaged for them to be “lost” or “unloveable”. And I say all that not because I believe we can just “positive think” our way out of our past or out of our brokenness or anything like that.


I say that because I believe in a God whose love is boundless. Whose love knows no limit on forgiveness. Whose love is full of second chances and millionth chances. Whose love is pure grace and endlessly redeeming. Whose love sees beauty where others judge.


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I believe this too. I believe in second chances and millionth chances, and I believe small starts change people in life-altering ways.

Are you involved in any small starts? A friendship? A goal? A dream? Also, do you know of any organizations focused on the fight against sex trafficking? I'm always on the hunt for resources.

On Eagles Wings, the ministry my friend volunteers for, recently partnered with a group of online retailers who donate a percentage of online purchases to the ministry. If you want more of the nitty gritty on how a percentage of your online purchases can help this ministry, email my friend, and she'll be happy to give you the scoop. shanna203@aol.com
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The Excess in My Closet

Friends bullied me into reading Jen Hatmaker's book, 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess. I was not thrilled. I didn't have time. I wanted to read other books. I don't like thinking about my life of excess.

But, sometimes bossy friends know what they are talking about. So, there I was all bossed around and ready to delve into 7 when another friend and I decided to host an online book club, and that's where you've found yourself today.

Welcome. Now, before you click away because you haven't read the book, don't! There's awesome tidbits of deliciousness coming your way including good thoughts from Jen, the book's author, a bad vlog from me, and thought provoking discussion in the comments. 

Here we go: In her book, 7, Jen Hatmaker sets out to simplify her life by cutting down on excess in seven specific areas: Food, Clothing, Media, Waste, Possessions, Stress, and Spending.

In Chapter 2 (click here to read Steph's post about Chapter 1), Jen discusses clothing. For an entire month, Jen only wears seven articles of clothing. Instead of cringing at this clothing fast, pride swelled. My clothing budget decreased drastically over the last few years, and I couldn't wait to sing the praises of my bare closet.

In fact, I went into my closet to confirm my thriftiness but quickly found myself jolted back into reality. See, although my style has changed over the last few years (once sassy, now sloppy), I still buy. I own twelve pairs of jeans, an embarrassing amount of boots, and enough accessories to bling out a small country. In my head, I don't buy clothes because I'm not dropping money on dress clothes. In reality, I own loads of jeans and t-shirt-ish types of clothes, and therefore, technically, I buy clothes.

A minute for this epiphany to sink in, please.

God doesn't care about my high rise, tie back, chestnut colored, Ugg boots, and the truth is, I should care a whole lot less. If I want to live a life of service, I can't "emulate the practices of the rich" (that last phrase is totally stolen from Hatmaker).

So, what's a girl to do? I want to cut down on the excess in my life. I love the idea of wearing only seven articles of clothing, and I fully plan on implementing a clothing fast this summer, but let's face it, I can't show up to work in yoga pants. I want a small way to implement spending less on clothes now.

The answer: Hatmaker suggests hosting a Clothing Swap. Brilliant. Will a Clothing Swap change the world? Nope, but it will push me to swap for new instead of heading to TJ Maxx, and it encourages my friends to do the same.

I've only been to a Clothing Swap once and not only did I get rid of a bunch of clothes I never wore, I also cashed in on some super cute, wardrobe additions that actually fit me. So, because I love sharing good ideas, I invited my friend and neighbor, Amanda, (who hosted the swap I attended) to share five tips on how-to have a successful Clothing Swap. I know you will love Amanda, but no, she can't move to your neighborhood.

*Disclaimer: Vlogs can either cement my love for someone or drive me away from a blog forever (Who knew that person could be so annoying?). Go easy on us. 

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And now questions for you. Feel free to jump in even if you haven't read the chapter. 

1. What's your clothing situation like? Excessive or simple?

2. You can only wear seven items for the next month. What seven items would you pick?
3. What quotes or points stood out in this chapter?

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It's not too late to get into the online book club. Email me (amylsullivan12@gmail.com), and I'll let you know where we are meeting next week to discuss Chapters 3 and 4 of 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess.

If you didn't get an email from me, but wanted to join, leave me a message in the comments, and I'll put you on the list.

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Prom Dresses and Book Drives and Scholarships

Prom dresses, book drives, and scholarships, oh my.

Today’s teens, you know I love them, but I’d be lying if I said they were an easy bunch to motivate.

However, DoSomething.org hits teens with relevant topics, encourages them to get involved in issues that interest them, and even hands out scholarships for activism.

Oh, yeah, cold, hard scholarship money.

There’s more, DoSomething.org doesn’t just encourage kids to get involved, it also organizes relevant ways for teens to become world changers in their own communities. Here’s a few campaigns DoSomething.org is currently running:

Prom for All. This campaign encourages participants to pass on gently worn prom dresses to girls in need. Instructions on how-to run your own campaign here.

Epic Book Drive. Donate books to low income families and enter to win $1,000 scholarship for an individual or $10,000 scholarship for a group.

The Bully Project. Easiest campaign ever. Take a quiz, share it with your friends, and help DoSomething.org collect info on bullying.

Want to hear more about the scholarship money? No essays, letters of recommendation, or good grades required. DoSomething.org instead honors teens who take action in their communities. Here's more info on the cha-ching.

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So if you are a parent, teacher, youth leader, grandma, aunt, or neighbor of a teen, this may be the time to yank the earbuds off that teen you know and direct them to DoSomething.org. All campaigns have deadlines, but summer campaigns run even when school doesn't.

 Question for you: I'm guessing you didn't donate your prom attire. Where's that gorgeous and fabulously overpriced dress today?

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Our online book club starts Wednesday. Need to hear what other clubbers are saying?

Amy - I started 7 this weekend and cannot put it down. Courtney


Amy, I think I plan on blogging on each chapter through the eyes of someone living overseas. I love this! I was going over it with a gal I mentor on Friday and we both were seeing all of the ways it could apply to us too. Amy


Amy, I don’t want to read Jen’s book. Jen’s books make me uncomfortable in my comfortableness. Jen’s books make my husband think I’m crazy. Jen’s books grow me and stretch me and aren’t very much fun. But God doesn’t care about my comfort, he cares about my character. I'm in. Mariah


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Linking with Jen.


 

Beer Bottle Caps and Celebrating Moms

She dug way down in the garbage can, beyond the leftover lasagna and brown lettuce, and she pulled out two beer bottle caps. Then, she forced herself to eat two peach Popsicles. She added a few fabulous touches, including hair extensions, striped dresses, and love.

The result? My Mother's Day puppets. In case you can't tell, I am actually on one of my Mother's Day puppets. Yes, I'm a puppet (insert loud cheering).

And the gifts didn't stop there. However, if I showed you my cross (complete with Scripture) made of Dum Dum wrappers, I'd just be bragging.

Relishing my early Mother's Day gifts, and these two sweet things who teach me if you don't have a pool, a sled is a perfect substitute, bathing suit bottoms can always double as a bathing suit top, and when life gives you a choice, always order sprinkles.

Happy Mother's Day. Thanks for spending your precious minutes here.

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Book club starts Wednesday. You in?

Also, hanging out here today. Click on over for a visit.

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On Dirty Feet and Judgment

Recently, while I was supposed to be serving, I judged a mother of twins. It was easy to judge this woman. Her babies’ clothes dirty, tufts of hair ratty, noses runny.

The twins didn’t babble. They were old enough to talk in baby speak. I know these things. I have kids. I teach kids. Instead, the twins stared.

The twins’ feet were covered in dirt from the day.

The mother allowed her babies to lick suckers, which meant sticky fingers and shirts covered in goo.

Oh, and the mom didn’t bring enough diapers.

Did I have extra?

“No, sorry,” fake sincerity oozing.

The truth was I couldn’t get beyond the feet, those tiny, filth-caked feet. I mean, how much effort does it take to wipe two pair of teeny feet? 

I simmered as a question darted through my mind.

Do you know what’s worse than dirty feet?

Um, fingers covered in sticky goo?

A dirty heart.

Oh.

My heart showed up to serve, but instead judged. My heart longed to above all, love each other deeply (1 Peter 4:8), but instead got stuck on the surface.

I desire for all to know the love of Jesus, but I prefer if the “all” arrive cleaned-up, dusted off, and with clean feet.

Warm water and soap can bathe babies clean, but scrubbing off judgment takes serious work. 

What about you? Have you noticed any part of your heart that needs scrubbing lately?

 Image credit.

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Thanks to all who signed-up for our online book club. We start next Wednesday. Care to join?

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Cardboard Arcades and Dreams

Nine-year-old Caine Monroy constructed cardboard arcade games outside of his father's used auto parts store in East Los Angeles.

Caine's arcade games weren't simple. This kid created fun passes, individual tickets, his own security system (calculators attached to boxes), and even made a custom claw machine.

The only problem? Caine's father did most of his business online, and therefore, Caine received few customers. And really, what fun is a custom designed, cardboard claw machine if no one uses it?

Despite the fact that Caine's games went unused, he continued to build, and even though Caine's peers made fun of him for saying he had an arcade, Caine kept dreaming.

One day a film maker went looking for a door handle to fit his '96 Corolla. You'll never guess where the film maker found himself.

Of course, Caine's arcade.

One film, one flash mob, and over $197,000 raised in scholarship money.

How's that for a story about a boy and cardboard dreams?

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Thank you, Caine.

Thank you for reminding us to show up, push on, and believe in our dreams, especially the ones made of cardboard.

Dream check. How are those dreams of yours growing? Are you giving up because you don't feel worthy or are you building on because you know it's worth it?

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I found this video through Gary.

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Hey, I'm hosting an online book club. Do you want to join?

Linking with SDG ladies.

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Consider Joining Us

Recently, one of my friends tried to boss me into reading Jen Hatmaker’s book, 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess.

Yes, yes, the book sounded amazing, but I just forced a five hundred page, bad boy on my local book club, and my daughter’s summer, kid-centered book club is gearing up to start again. Oh, and there are those two, must-read writing books that continue to taunt me from my bookshelf, and don’t even get me going on Anna Quindlen’s Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake.

Sorry, bossy friend. No time.

Then, another friend recommended Hatmaker’s book.

Sorry, friend with good intentions, please see the above stated reasons as to why I will not read Hatmaker’s book.

Then, an online friend emailed and asked if I would be interested in reading a book together. She thought it looked great and with my mission (serving others as a family), the book would be something I’d be into. Oh, and guess what book it was. You know it, 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess.

At this point, I figured there must be a reason I am being bombarded with advice directing me to 7, so I caved.

My online friend and I talked. Let’s start a book club. Let’s keep this club small, four people tops, but then, that seemed a tad selfish, and we thought there might be a few more of you interested in participating in this one time, online book club with us.

So…

Here’s the deal. Next Wednesday, May 16, we will begin the book club and read 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess. Details of the club’s greatness will be sent to individuals through email, but here are a few must knows:

Club will last one month-ish.

Options for involvement include (but are not required!):

• Write one post correlating with one chapter of Jen’s book.
• Click around every Wednesday and read posts by other club members.
• Leave comments or reply to discussions already going on.
• Read and reflect on your own time and jump in when you feel the urge.

Then as a super, duper added bonus: Jen Hatmaker agreed to participate in this book club by flying to each member’s house and answering any lingering questions readers may have regarding her smash book, 7. Fine. That’s a total lie, but regardless, word on the street is 7 is pretty life changing.

Should you be interested in participating in this low-maintenance, high fun, book club, drop me an email (amylsullivan12@gmail.com) or leave a message in the comments, and my friend and I will add your little name to our list.

Here's the book trailer for those of you who need an extra nudge or want more info on the book:

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Question for you: Have you ever participated in an online book club? I'd love to hear about your experience.

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