Because True Love Says You Have Bad Hair

Mushy, gushy, make your heart race, love letters are headed your way. Prepare.

And to help you envision some of the love that’s happening at our house, I thought I’d share a conversation my husband and I had this morning.

Picture me late for work and racing out the door. Note: To get an accurate picture, you also may want to envision some toast or other small particles of food on my shirt.

Husband: Um, did you brush your hair today?

Me: Not really.

Husband: You might want to rethink that one.

It’s a good life.

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On a totally unrelated note, I finished my January series on raising giving kids over at Mom It Forward. Click over to read more.

Today, at Mom It Forward, I wrote about the fab Almost-Sleepover we hosted in October, and although I don’t discuss it there, the Make a Difference Day Almost-Sleepover is up for an award. Like a real award. Yes, an award to the tune of $10,000 type of award. Which means this is not the last you will hear about the Almost-Sleepover. In fact, in a couple weeks, I will be begging you for votes. 

Love to you.

Oh, and this is the type of post that I would totally close the comments on, but you told me you hated that, and therefore, I'm trying not to do it. Sigh. But I really want to.

The Gift of Showing Up

Two weeks ago, my sister fell on the ice and earned a metal plate, screws, and a purple cast, and this coupled with a few other events left my sister sounding broken.

So, Friday I boarded a plane and traded my Blue Ridge Mountains for the Rocky Mountains. When I arrived at the Mile High City, I planned to cook, clean, and help my sister find a wedding dress for her upcoming wedding even if it meant sewing one myself. 

Instead, my sister and I hung out, ate homemade soup, watched a documentary, cut our hair, and read trashy magazines.

On the flight home, I started to panic.

I didn’t clean her bathroom.

I didn’t create meals and freeze food.

I didn’t sew her a wedding dress.

Then, I thought of times in my own life, times when I felt broken. I reflected on the people who supported me, and what they did to show support.

Lindy brought a peanut butter and jelly sandwich to the hospital.

Dusti created a very, berry parfait.

Leah listened to me rehash the same story again.

Krista chased me with a toilet brush until I allowed her to clean my bathrooms.

Steph made a cake in celebration of her being oxygen free.

Loraine paid bills.

Laura knew I needed a friend and visited.

Wendy babysat a screaming kid.

What do all of these acts of service have in common?

People took interest. People showered love. People understood that support isn't about the big things. Sometimes support just means showing up.

It's a good lesson from smart friends, one that I'm working hard to learn.

Can you think of a time when someone supported you by showing up?

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Linking with Jen and counting the friends listed above as gifts on Multitude Mondays.

Pssst, have you heard about mushy, gushy, make your heart race, love letters?

Texas Wildfires and Being the Least of These

Look down, and meet my friend, Joy. She's the dark-haired cutie.

To all the writers out there, you know how people always say you should attend writing conferences because you meet tons of people who ignite your creativity? Well, it's true. I met Joy this summer at a conference, and her heart and ideas continue to inspire.

Want to see for yourself? Of course you do. Here's Joy's Share Your Story about Gayle, Texas wildfires, and being the least of these:

I met Gayle last November and was stunned by her take on life. With tears of gratitude threatening to spill over, she whispered, “I can’t believe I get to be one of the least of these.” Gayle didn’t know that I am a follower of Jesus, and I grew up competing in Bible quizzes, so she certainly didn’t realize that I can sniff out a Scripture reference a mile away.

I was introduced to Gayle at a Heart of CAbi Foundation clothing giveaway to the survivors of the Bastrop Wildfires. Bastrop, a suburb of Austin, Texas, lost 1400 homes in early September. Along with my CAbi colleagues, I had the honor to serve about 100 of these women in the role of personal shopper, and I helped outfit ladies in brand new CAbi clothes. Although each woman I met touched me in some way, Gayle, who works as an administrative assistant during the day, and a clerk for Walgreens five nights a week, told me that the wildfire has been the biggest blessing of her life.

“I thought I knew God before this happened, but I know a totally different God now.” I listened as I buttoned up a sweater, helped with a back zip skirt, and re-hung clothes.

At one point, we put together an outfit for her day job, and Gayle turned away from the mirror to show me.

As she turned back to gaze at herself and stroke the silk ruffled top she said, “I never would have had this before the fires.” I was trying so hard to stay in listening mode and not be yet another person peppering her with questions about her tragedy, so I still don’t know what she meant by “have had this.” That beautiful top? That vision of herself? Or maybe that situation of receiving love and care? As we were gathering all of her yeses and heading to the checkout desk we hugged and decided that when she was ready to be on facebook again, she’d look me up. And that’s when she said her line…“I can’t believe I get to be one of the least of these.”

Since my return to San Francisco, I’ve hit the ground running. Loads of meetings, CAbi shows, children’s sports events and school projects have kept me busy. But all along in the background of that life-busyness have been Gayle’s words ringing in my head.

She sees this horrific tragedy as a blessing, and her life is not all put back together yet. She currently lives with one of her grown sons, who encouraged her to come stay with him for as long as she needs. If that isn’t a testament to raising him right, I don’t know what else might be. One of the biggest difficulties of re-building after a natural disaster is the time needed to register on multiple lists and deal with all the red tape and bureaucracy to get the services needed. Gayle works two full-time jobs and has had very little time to follow through on all of the “aid” that’s out there. But still, this has been the biggest blessing of her life.

Gayle has quickly learned how to receive Jesus’ love through the earthly hands of the communal church. With awe and amazement she sees herself honored enough by Him to be placed in the role of receiving love and attention meant for Him. See, the Gospel makes it clear: when we do it for Gayle, it’s as if we are doing it for Him.

If you could have seen the radiant joy on Gayle’s face, you might join me in my prayer: Lord, please grant me the humility needed to receive with grace and love from others. If they are Your hands and feet, let me honor their offerings and receive Your love through them.

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Thanks, Joy, for Sharing Your Story. You can find Joy at JoyLibby.com where she blogs, but only when she isn't working on her book. Are you interested in Sharing Your Story?

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Pssst, have you heard about mushy, gushy, make your heart race, love letters?

Penning Love

The Music Box is a group of interactive musical buildings on a vacant lot in New Orleans.

Musicians and ordinary people create music at The Music Box by using creaking boards, clanging metal, humming lights, and even an amped-up rocking chair. The result of these odd sounds is an unimaginable orchestra. 

Jazz musicians, rock drummers, and even rappers, come to contribute their sound to the beautiful noise.

I love the idea behind The Music Box because when people come together carrying stories, making music, and revealing bits of truth, love rings out.

I’ve gathered some friends.

And we are preparing to make a little music of our own. Oh, not the crank it up and dance around your living room kind of music, but the music that comes from passionate people pulling together.

What will we share? Love letters.

Mushy, gushy, make your heart race, love letters. Not the kind of love letters that come folded on lined paper and pass through sweaty hands before finally arriving on your secret crush’s desk.

Nope.

We penned letters to people in need of a extra love.

Who knows, some of our letters may even be written to you.

Questions for you: Do you know any of the fab faces pictured above? Can you think of a group of people in need of some extra encouragement?

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More details about Love Letters to the Underloved coming soon!

Pinecone Wars and Basketball Tournaments and Rest

Six was a pretty solid age for me.

My mom quit putting pink, sponge rollers in my hair. I knew without a doubt that Santa was, in fact, real. I received a gold-plated M & M necklace as a gift, and I was no longer required to rest.

See, I hated rest. Napping was abandoned years earlier, but up until six-years-old, my mom required me to rest each afternoon. Spending any amount of time stuck in my room while life sped on seemed totally unreasonable.

I wanted to run and laugh and create hidden forts and hold pinecone wars with neighbor kids.

Fast forward thirty years and I still struggle with rest.

This week I cancelled four obligations, two of which have been planned for months. Now, maybe you think I cancelled these four things because I realized I needed rest. Um, good guess, but no. The real reason I cancelled these four obligations is because they conflict with four other obligations.

That’s hard to admit because if you told me you needed to attend eight different activities in one week, I would shake my head and tsk-tsk at you. Then, I’d remind you of the importance of leading a slow life, and that busyness can be an idol.

But sometimes, Busy sneaks up on you, and although you don’t schedule basketball tournaments, extra work meetings, and trips to another state to buy a new car because yours is crap-o-la (insert loud sigh), Busy happens. And sometimes we can’t control Busy.

The solution? Embrace rest.

Pencil it in. Scratch it out. Make it happen. It’s that important.

Secret forts, pinecone wars, and basketball tournaments can wait. Rest cannot.

Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.” Mark 6:31

Question for you: How have you embraced rest today?

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Linking with Jen and Michelle.

Image credit. 

34 Words On Improving Empathy in Your Family

Kids and teens ages 8 to 18 spend almost four hours a day in front of the TV.

Want your family to feel more, share more, and engage more?

Me, too.

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What limits do you put on TV viewing? What shows or channels are off limits? Any recent family-friendly TV shows you've discovered?

Idea for this post came from Kat's 12 word post. Seriously good write.

10 Ways Your Family Can Serve Others

The phone rings. The teacher emails. The dog needs food, and come to think of it, so do your kids. The calendar fills. The laundry piles, and that verse haunts you.

As for me and my household, we will serve the Lord. Joshua 24:15b

I get what the verse means. It’s the living out the meaning that’s hard.

How does your household serve God in daily, practical, and yet, meaningful ways?

Not so long ago, my family stood paralyzed by the greatness of our inadequacies and the needs of the world.

Then, God started whispering, you know those soft whispers you hear in your head and feel in your veins. He told us that serving Him meant serving others. He told us to quit defining what service looked like and just start serving.

So, we did, and guess what? You can too. Need some ideas? I thought you might. Check out this list (and links because who has time to look for links?) of 10 practical ways your family can serve the Lord today.

• Write letters of encouragement to soldiers. Soldiers’ Angels assists you in flooding our country’s heroes with mail and thanks.

• Read about teens making a difference at Generation On.

• Color pictures for the lonely. Color a Smile encourages even the littlest servers to send some crayon, colored love through the mail.

• Find the courage to look at hard topics. What’s the fastest growing division of the porn industry? Child porn. Makes you sick, right? Good. Go see what the Sold Project is doing about it.

• Lend a microloan. Kiva changes lives by lending small loans (as low as $25.00) to an entrepreneur across the world. These entrepreneurs then use your money to buy livestock, start a store, purchase a bike, or provide them the opportunity to earn money. Then, through Kiva, these same entrepreneurs pay you back. 

• Invest in kids that are not your own. Maybe it’s the girl at Breanna’s House or maybe it’s the kid from the single-parent family home down the street.

• Love even when it’s not convenient and especially when it’s hard.

• Watch a video, even if it makes you uncomfortable. Need direction? Try this one, The Girl Effect.

• Read words penned by a world changer. Kisses from Katie will make your heart hurt and swell at the same time. 

• Pray always.

A totally unrelated to the post kind of question for you: Is it annoying when authors close the comments to a blog post? I like to close comments when I have a guest post, loads of links, or a video. Then a few days ago, I ran into a few blogs with closed comments, and I was a tad annoyed. Your thoughts?

False Motivators

I completed a triathlon once. Don’t be impressed. It was a mini-triathlon, and I completed it for the following reasons:

1.  It was less than a year after baby number one, and I felt guilty about how I looked.

2.  We just moved, and the one potential friend I met said we could train together.

3.  I wanted people to “Ohh and Ahh” and tell me (or at least think in their heads), “Wow, you are a running, biking, swimming, rock star” or in my case, mini-rock star.

I completed a triathlon because of guilt, peer pressure, and my desire to impress an imaginary audience.

I hated every second of training and despised the time it took away from my family. Instead of helping me get in shape, training shaved off too much weight, too fast, and instead of feeling strong, and healthy, I felt dizzy, and not at all rock-star-like.

In the end, I dragged my sorry butt across the finish line and didn't work out again for months.

The factors motivating me proved weak, temporary, and not strong enough to give me real results.

Superficial analysis and superficial focus always lead to superficial and temporary change. —Steve Harris, New Life Community Church

Change doesn’t come because of fake, weak reasons, and when we use false motivators such as guilt, peer pressure, or the desire to impress, change is always temporary.

Question for you: What was the last real change you made? What is motivating you to stick with that change? Can you think of a change you attempted to make that didn’t last long because you were motivated by the wrong thing?

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I’m linking with the fab, Michelle D. at Graceful where she asks readers to share part of the sermon they heard Sunday or blog about what God has been "whispering or shouting" at them. I’m also linking with my girl, Jen, who is planning a Texas retreat this fall. Want to come? Good. You are invited.

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Image credit.

Because Some People Sell Gum on the Streets for 10 Years and Still Have Passion

Who doesn't love an eight minute video clip in Korean with subtitles? Eeek. Give it until 1:44, and then click away if you must.

(email subscribers, please click here)

Fine, fine. This video is from June which in blogging years means it's ancient, but I only recently discovered it at 365 Give.

Happy weekend, friends. To quote the video, I hope you are "passionately running towards what you really want".

*Comments are closed.

When You Find God in Surprising Places

Sometimes I think God waits in places that smell of bleach and Hamburger Helper. Places that house women in red, fuzzy slippers and children in sleeveless pajamas.

Beyond banging doors and crackly announcements, God sits in an uncomfortable, kitchen chair that rocks, but isn’t supposed to, and He nods.

He sees dreadlocks and hears pleas.

And as prayers for new beginnings are hurled into the air, He marvels at the change, not in circumstances, but in hearts.

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Went somewhere new this week, and thought I’d share. Also, linking with Emily at Imperfect Prose.

Question for you: Tell me where you've found God this week. Anywhere surprising?

Image credit.

A Little Something About Stereotypes

"We heard you were coming."

A young, white female with an Illinois, license plate, and a car stuffed full of belongings. I wasn't hard to spot.

I nodded. I bet they heard about me. I heard about them too. I heard many refused their culture and dismissed their history. I heard their parents drank anything containing alcohol, even hairspray. I heard little joy resounded in such an empty place. I heard education held minimal value here.

Finish reading here.

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Oh, hey, glad you found your way here. Sorry I missed you, but today I'm sharing about stereotypes and life on the Res over at Inspired Teacher. Homeschooling moms, classroom assistants, youth leaders, teachers, tutors, principals, children's ministry helpers, moms, teachers, and basically, anyone with an interest in education, come on over! Good conversations happen there.


*Comments are turned off, but let's chat soon.

Image credit.

5 Ways to Ensure Your Husband Will Never Want to Serve Others as a Family

I received an email containing this statement:

“I want our family to shift focus from us to others, but my husband has no interest.”

This wasn’t the first time a note with the same idea found its way to my inbox.

Sometimes notes to strangers are easier to send than notes to those you love.

When I hear sentiments like the one above, I wish hard that I held a secret recipe for change, and I could send you running to the store, list in hand, change attainable.

But, of course, no such list exists.

The above email made me think of my husband, and how I rarely mention him here, and that maybe you think he's not involved in our attempt to move from addicted to ourselves to devoted to others. Not true.

So, meet Shane.

He's the rational part of the Sullivan family. The one who tells me that real change happens slowly. The one who balances my wild ideas with wild prayer. The one who taught me about another kind of list, a scientifically proven, sure to make your husband uber resistant to serving others kind of list.

I've never actually acted out behaviors listed below. Ahem. You know, this is hypothetically speaking, of course. Here's my top five ways to ensure your husband will never want to serve others as a family:

1.  Ask him if he ever thinks of others first. (Stress the ever part).

2.  Schedule a family service day during fantasy football playoffs.

3.  Talk nonstop the minute he walks in the door about the latest book you’ve discovered that will change his life.

4.  Sign him up for something he totally doesn’t want to do, especially if it involves crafts.

5.  Pour on the guilt.

Question for you: What can you do to ensure your spouse will do the exact opposite of what you want?

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Linking with Jen.

Because No One Likes to be Ripped Off

Maybe it’s because someone broke into my car (twice).

Or maybe it’s because in college, the police showed up at my house to arrest my roommate who much to my surprise, had been involved in a variety of no good activities around campus.

Or maybe it’s because I used to live in the city, and I had to punch a code to get into my parking area and a code to get into my apartment gate and a code to get into my apartment building, and then, I had to unlock my apartment building door, and after this, I proceeded to unlock two locks on my apartment door all before entering my home.

Or maybe it’s because I spend my mornings with smooth-talking teens.

Whatever the reason, I tend to be not-so trusting, and not-so trusting and giving don’t mesh.

See, if our family gives money to an organization, I want to know the where and why behind our donation, and I want to know our dollars are being spent to help the cause and not fund a staff of two hundred. I want to be responsible givers, and that’s why Charity Navigator is such a fun discovery.

Charity Navigator uses a rating scale to evaluate charities based on a variety of factors including transparency and financial accountability, and then, Charity Navigator awards stars to communicate findings.

In addition, Charity Navigator compiles all kinds of Top 10 lists such as: 10 Charities Expanding in a Hurry, 10 Top Notch Charities, 10 Charities in Deep Financial Trouble, and 10 Inefficient Fund Raisers.

Plus, Charity Navigator lists a Tips for Donors section that gives practical information on how you can be a Savvy Donor.

Curious about some of your favorite charities? Click over and take a peek.

One last thought: I know there are quite a few Compassion and World Vision supporters out there. Both earned four star ratings. Good job, you, for being responsible givers. Good job, them, for handling our money well.

Question: Outside of tithing to your church, do you have a favorite organization or charity your family supports? What makes you decide to support or turn away from an organization? 

On Brewing Ideas and Finding Inspiration in Kentucky

Who purchased a camera and thought it fun to project people (like my mom) trying to catch letters and make words?

Who told city planners that chandeliers needed to hang from light posts?

Who came up with the idea to create red, plastic penguins and place them on ledges of buildings?

Someone brewed each wild idea. Someone laid out a small, but crazy vision. Someone stirred-up common creativity.

See your desires as gifts to heed rather than longings to suppress. —Max Lucado, Cure For the Common Life

*Turning comments off today so you can get back to brewing ideas in wild creativity and heeding those gifts you possess.

What to Expect from Young World Changers

We’ve come to expect a few things when volunteering with our kids, and just in case your family is thinking about serving more in your community this year, consider this a heads-up:

Expect your kids to lick their fingers when baking treats for people who are sick.

Expect your daughter to tell other volunteering families long-winded stories about the kid at school who drinks Mountain Dew for breakfast, throws tiny bits of erasers, and mumbles curse words all day in class. Then, despite you giving your best evil eye, expect your daughter to toss out edited examples of the above mentioned curse words, “Well, he says the a-word, the d-word, the h-word…”.

Expect your child to give thirty cents even when you deem it inappropriate.

Expect your girl to repeatedly ask the pouty teenager who is also volunteering, “So, what exactly is required community service?”

Expect your heart to swell.

Expect your child to climb into a giant cardboard box and discuss loudly how terrible it is that people never donate fruit.

Expect your daughter and her friends to wear scarves in ninety-degree weather to sell lemonade for a cause.

Expect pajama clad kids to make you feel guilty for thinking all they care about is the Wii.

Expect your kids to change.

Expect your family to change.

Question for you: Any fun and silly things you’ve come to expect from your children lately?

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Linking with Jen and the girls.