As soon as I held a pencil, my mom declared a rule:
First, write a thank you note. Then, play with your new
gift.
Our relatives lived multiple states and hundreds of miles
away. So, holidays came in a box. Birthday gifts, Christmas candy, and Easter
chocolates arrived at our door wrapped in brown packaging.
I remember not knowing how to spell the word “thanks” but
copying it with my hand-drawn picture while my wooden train sat waiting to chug around a new track.
Thank you. Two important words. Words that go missing too often,
but not just in regards to gifting. In this space, we talk about serving others
all the time, but we don’t talk about what happens when you serve with pure
intentions, and people bleed you dry.
I don’t have to tell you this happens. You know because it
happens to you.
Women’s ministry leaders, teachers, foster parents,
committee members, pastors, friends. At some point, you give and give and feel
empty, and before you know it, bitterness sneaks up and bites your heart.
With a stinging heart, you back away for a time and
sometimes for good, but I wonder if your service could be salvaged
with two simple words.
Thank you.
I am guilty of forgetting thanks. Thanks to the neighbor who
leaves a snowsuit one day and flip flops the next. Thanks to the friend who
calls to check-in even if I don’t call back. Thanks to the colleague who makes
everything funny.
Thanks, and thanks to you too. I wish I could hug you and tell you I appreciate your selflessness and the fact that you think about serving others, but you will have to settle for this foot-five.
It's the foot version of the high-five. My girls foot-five each other when one deems the other is doing something well, and I happen to think you love others well.
Thank you and here's my foot-five to you.
Think of a time when you served others and found yourself tapped out. Would your feelings have changed if your actions were acknowledged or appreciated more?: :
In case you are working on a big goal, here's 11 ways to encourage misery while you wait to achieve it.
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18 comments:
I love this reminder to give thanks. I am always SO encouraged when people tell me thanks. It can make such a huge difference. And that makes me want to pass it on to others. Great post, Amy.
Can I give you a foot-ten? Oh, whoops. I might land on my be-hind then, but it would make you laugh.
On a more serious note, I think "thank you" is such a powerful gift that we do not say enough of. Because we are human, that extra treat really helps us continue to give, even if our primary motive is not recognition. There is a reason why God says to "give thanks." While He doesn't NEED our thanks, it is a wonderful exercise for us.
thanks - important to me. however, i will say that in the dominican, saying thank you too much makes one a crazy person, apparently. someone had to tell me after i said gracias 43 times for my dinner....
oh yes, a simple thank you can motivate me for a long time. :) However, I know I cannot serve for the high-fives or the "foot-fives". :) Love that btw!
I love your foot-five! In my journey into learning to live unconditional love - I am also learning God's created me to be a seed planter and waterer - not the harvester but the waterer. The more I have grown into my mission, the less I need the thank yous - though they are precious - and the more I am fulfilled. Maybe it's an opposite day thing - or maybe raising all these boys who don't communicate like I do has warped my brain and expectations.
So, your girls are so adorable even when we're only looking at their foot five. Too cute.
You know I know all about the burnout, but I think the blame falls to me for not demanding breaks, not taking vacations to get away. You can't give forever without replenishing your stores. It doesn't work. It will work for awhile, sometimes a good long while (like 12 years, maybe), but then you will collapse and start avoiding people all together. And if you can find yourself again, it will take much longer than you ever dreamed. (okay, my autobiography is now done.)
Isn't it just crazy how far those two little words can go? Not long ago I got an email from someone who serves his heart out at one of my kids' schools.. he said that we are the only parents who have ever written him a thank you note (okay- dozens of thank you notes- but that's what happens when you've got five kids who keep streaming through the same schools). I was shocked. And sad. It takes all of five minutes to tell someone you're glad they do what they do. Hmm.... guess I'll stop commenting and use my five minutes to thank someone! Love your foot fives :) by the way!
fantastic. and yes, i do believe it would make a HUGE difference. here's a foot-five to you, my friend. thanks for all that you do here. in this space. it's a huge encouragement to me :-)
steph
The ministers at our church make a distinct effort to come around to those volunteering in the preschool dept. and say a sincere thank you every now and then. I also get phone calls just for that purpose. It really helps! But on the flip side, how often have I told THEM thank you...ouch!
I think I discovered my love language by the what is important for me to do...words of affirmation...I love writing notes...to people I know...to those who have impacted my life...and even writers who have God used so powerfully in my life. I actually hand wrote a note to a author...He lives in Canada...I was not even sure I had his right address...about 3 months later a letter comes in the mail...he is thanking me for thanking him...he had never received a letter before and told me he was going to keep it in his bible for when he gets discouraged...I thought wow...who would have every thought he would not have had one thank you...something that is so simple to do...and can truly bless someones heart...wow this is longer than intended...
love the heart of this post...blessings and thanks to you~
Oh Amy, love this. Great write, awesome post. Your tender generous spirit comes through beautifully.Thank you for reminding me again, can't hear it enough.....to say thank you in and for everything...small, medium, large, it all.
In the counseling field we call it compassion fatigue. It's true, saying thank you makes a big difference. Thanks for this important reminder!
Oh yes! A simple thank you goes a long way. I've noticed I've needed more attagirl's in this mom-of-young-kids stage of life--no grades, no job performance reviews, no outside sources of validation. It means a LOT when the hubs or the kids say thank you. And in ministry, one of my favorite memories was when my pastor thanked me at our Christmas eve service for giving up my husband so that he could sing at our church's five services. I'd had a frustrating day trying to cook food with young ones underfoot, then wrangling a five year old and two two-year olds into fancy duds and shuttling them through the cold and into church, and that thank-you was balm to the frazzled soul.
I recieved a thank-you note from a 5th grader last week for throwing a back to school party. I totally didn't see that coming but I will say it truly was like a cup of cold water on a parched day. It meant more to me than she could ever know. So much work went into that day and it was one of about five major church things that I'd thrown myself into. And it was a 5th grader who came back to say thank you. I will work harder at saying it aloud and writing it down because I'm the queen of thinking it and not saying it to others.
Love the foot five - you are too cool :) Saying "thank you" is such a powerful thing, and so is hearing it. I can definitely think of a time when I felt "tapped out" and a thank you would have helped. But I can also think of so many times when I've been the one who forgot to say thank you to others and to God. I just cruise on by - guilty! So I have to keep that in mind any time I feel slighted. Really no such thing.
Ok, I'm back just to let you know I'm totally jealous about those McD's glasses. And all I got was a hammock!? Tell me that you've still got ONE of those in your cupboards, right? Thanks for stopping by the Overflow today- you always make me smile!
Thank you for all of the ways you encourage me to get out of my bubble and serve others!! I saw a youth ministry guru recently give a really good image of Christian service. There was a pitcher of water which represented Jesus. There was a glass which represented us. And there was a big bowl which represented the world. Many servants get filled by Jesus and dump him into the world.
The problem with this is that you keep having to go back again and again for more Jesus. A better way the speaker said (Kenda Creasy Dean is her name) is to place ourselves in the center of the bowl (world) and allow Jesus to pour himself into us so that we are continually overflowing into the world.
That probably makes no sense in writing, but it was a really meaningful example to watch!!
I love, love, love the foot five. so great.
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