Amy Sullivan: When Numbers Scream

2/20/12

When Numbers Scream

Some unruly numbers spent last week screaming at me.

Number of publishers interested in my proposal in a four-week time period: 3. Utter awesomeness.

Number of passes I’ve had on my book in the last two months: 3. Utter crappiness.

Number of page reads on Letters for the Underloved: 110, 701. Bam.

Number of followers that dropped me the day after Letters to the Underloved went live: Six. Bam, again.

Number of times I planned to go to free yoga last week: 3. I’m so fit.

Number of times I attended free yoga last week: 0. I’m so out of shape.

Number of percentage points we were behind during the Make a Difference Day voting process: 23. Obviously, there is some major cheating happening.

Number of percentage points we are currently ahead in the Make a Difference Day voting process: 12. Love this voting process. It seems so accurate.

Number of times I thought about signing up to host an In Real Life meet up group with (in)courage: 1. I did it. I signed my little self up to host. Go me, what a go, getter. Bring on the party!

Number of people signed-up to attend my In Real Life meet up group with (in)courage: 0. Why did I do this? What a dork. Is it too late to back out? For real, I’m returning the T-shirt.

Numbers exhaust me.

Then, I start thinking about something an uber, smart friend said.

"The world is all about numbers. I cannot live by the numbers while trying to live a life of sacrifice. Numbers make me hungry, not for the spiritual fruits, but the poisoned ones."

My friend was talking about numbers on our watch, the scale, our jeans, and that never-enough paycheck, and yes, when we chase those numbers, we end up hungry.

But here’s the thing, I hate being hungry. It makes me tired and cranky and snappy with those I love. So, I’m going to close my eyes for a bit. Yep, I'm going to ignore the numbers and just see what happens.

What about you? What numbers have you learned to make peace with?

: :

Totally teasing about backing out of (in)courage’s IRL. So, if you are near Asheville, NC, I might just have a teeny space in my group for you. Sign-up or drop me an email. Want info on meet up’s in your area? Click here. Want more details about the event? Click here.

Linking with Jen.

27 comments:

Amy Sullivan said...: And Gaby Johnson rocks!

She just signed-up for the meet up. Gaby, way excited to meet you.

Here's her blog:
http://thejohnsonglasshouse.blogspot.com/; February 20, 2012 at 9:02 PM
Lisa notes... said...: If I were close to NC, I'd sign up.

And I SO get this numbers dilemma. Sigh. I need to kick the habit too. Maybe I should include numbers as part of my fast for Lent...hmm...; February 20, 2012 at 9:10 PM
Jen Ferguson said...: Gaby lives by you? Um, jealous! And those 6 followers, dude. They don't know what they are missing.

And did I say that quote? Clearly, I had a burst of inspiration. Must tattoo on my forehead so that I can really live my life that way...everyday.

Love to you, friend.; February 20, 2012 at 9:16 PM
Kendal said...: karrie and i are in. just haven't signed up at the website yet. #of comments on my blog. #of dollars in my account. #of pounds on the scale....; February 20, 2012 at 9:19 PM
Amy Sullivan said...: Nice!

Kendal is coming! Check our her work:
http://kendalprivette.blogspot.com/; February 20, 2012 at 9:34 PM
Amy Sullivan said...: Karrie is coming...yipeeeee!; February 20, 2012 at 9:41 PM
Melanie N. Brasher said...: wow, this post was just what I needed today. I can get so caught up with numbers and stats. I love that quote! I too long to release the numbers.

I mentioned you on my blog today. I love your heart. :); February 20, 2012 at 9:47 PM
Tara said...: um yes. these numbers...these ways to compare things in such a seemingly black and white way...bleh. I am encouraged that others have to fight having them "count" too... btw, if only Wisconsin were closer to you, I'd be snuggling right on up by you for the conference. :); February 20, 2012 at 9:51 PM
Gaby said...: I was about to say: "WHAT?! I'm coming! Baby, even if it's just you and I, we'll have a parteee." I told you I would. I'm just a little slow in the follow-through :) But so glad Kendal and Karrie are coming (and I'm working on a friend too so pray). Can't wait to meet you all face to face.

And still trying to figure out if there is even a relationship between the six followers that left and the letters because...um...how in the world???

No worries. We love you.; February 20, 2012 at 9:55 PM
Brandee Shafer said...: I've learned to make peace with the fact that I have 3 children, not 4. I've learned to make peace with the number of my years: 37. I've learned to make peace with the number of not-Jim-at-all years between Jim my boyfriend and Jim my husband: 13. I've learned to make peace with my pants size: 16. Ok, not really. But I'm not hating. I've learned to make peace with the number of my blog followers: 82. I'm sure there are more. I'm not so much of a numbers girl; I'm more of a words girl.; February 20, 2012 at 10:04 PM
Loraine said...: Boy can I really relate to this post. It can be draining and exhausting riding the roller coaster of numbers. I do this too, but you articulated it so well!

And really those 6 that left, I agree with Jen- they don't know what they are missing.

One of the many things about Jesus is how balanced He is. Balance is calming and I like that.

Thanks for the post!; February 20, 2012 at 10:07 PM
Cindy Bultema said...: # of times I thank God for you and your inspiration, Truth and encouragement...too many to count!

I wish I lived closer - I'd be there in a minute!

May God open His best door for you and your proposal in His perfect timing!

Cindy :); February 20, 2012 at 10:17 PM
GLENDA CHILDERS said...: Hi Amy ~ I want to come. Can you move it to Chicago?

Fondly,
Glenda; February 20, 2012 at 10:23 PM
Kelli said...: I'm a numbers slave as well. Everything is about numbers. I also really try to ignore them, but....LOL! Great post!; February 20, 2012 at 11:19 PM
HopeUnbroken said...: well, the biggest number i'm lamenting right now is the cost of plane tickets to NC. :-)
oh, well. i get to meet up with the tiny twig, so i'm pretty darn excited about that! she's only 30 minutes away. sorry, my friend.
so many numbers games to play. i should have been an accountant. . . .; February 20, 2012 at 11:45 PM
Courtney said...: I love closing my eyes and ignoring the numbers because when I close my eyes I can picture Jesus - the ONE who calms everything down and says, "Just focus on me."; February 21, 2012 at 7:08 AM
redemptionsbeauty said...: Love this, the way you brought light to the numbers game and how self-defeating it is when we put our hope there. I am signed up in Charleston, but if I lived in beautiful Asheville, I'd be there for sure. Would love to meet you in RL.; February 21, 2012 at 9:48 AM
Katrina said...: Really tempted to drive to Asheville for in(RL) . . . . I'm sure there is a closer one, but I'm tempted because I think we might be kindred spirits. ;); February 21, 2012 at 12:47 PM
Jean Wise said...: Amy I really liked this post even with its ups and downs. Made me stop and listen to all the numbers swirling around me - no wonder I get filled with self doubt with all the trying to measure up to other standards. Thanks for helping me see that!; February 21, 2012 at 1:45 PM
heseesme said...: How far are you from Atlanta? And if I played the numbers game with my blog. . .I wouldn't write. Whoever is here is suppose to be here and you are such an inspiration my friend! :) Love, Danelle :); February 21, 2012 at 2:10 PM
uscsnow.org said...: Talk about hitting the nail on the cranky-tired-snappish-oh-my-aching head! Hang in there, Amy...you're making a difference just by being YOU!

Have a great night...!; February 21, 2012 at 5:42 PM
Melanie said...: # of speaking engagements I've been booked for this year: One

# of times I'll speak at that one engagement: five

# of times I've thrown in the towel on speaking: 2

It's a frustrating life when we live by numbers.; February 22, 2012 at 10:07 AM
Nacole said...: Amy!

so excited to be here and read--i enjoyed this--very witty and cute. you visited my blog a while back--sorry it took me this long to get here.

what numbers have i overcome? # on the scale, # of friends, # of comments...cant think of anymore, but ive given these to God, some a long time ago, some recently.

if i lived near you, i would come! as it is, you may have inspired ME to host one!

blessings to you, friend!; February 22, 2012 at 11:31 PM
Adriel (The Mommyhood Memos) said...: just for the record i would SO be going to your gathering if australia wasn't... so dang far away.

numbers can be tricky. numbers i'm trying to ignore right now include: # of times up with the baby during the night, # of hours of sleep, # of tantrums before lunch, # of date nights with my husband, # of hours reading, writing, and being alone, # in our bank account, # of monthly support, # it's going to cost us to visit family in america this year and # we need to raise to take the family on outreach to papua new guinea later this year... basically, all my numbers causing me stress have to do with babies and finances.

mostly i'm finding that it's really not good for anyone if i'm keeping track too closely...; February 22, 2012 at 11:39 PM
lori said...: I read this the other day, and I've still been thinking about what a great post it is because we all do this. I have been really disappointed in my ups and downs lately, totally feeling like I should be more constant, but I know that there are some waves a little harder to ride than others. And, those 6 followers are stupid (had to channel my 3rd grade self for that stinging insult).; February 23, 2012 at 1:13 AM
Rachel M. said...: Tonight I had 2 Girl Scout cookies and I might have more!

Seriously though, I'll pray for your numbers.; February 24, 2012 at 9:59 PM
Julie said...: We have to talk about your book!?!

I really like Love Letters to the Unloved, too:).

I wish I lived closer to you, Amy!; April 23, 2012 at 10:27 PM