Two weeks ago, my sister fell on the ice and earned a metal plate, screws, and a purple cast, and this coupled with a few other events left my sister sounding broken.
So, Friday I boarded a plane and traded my Blue Ridge Mountains for the Rocky Mountains. When I arrived at the Mile High City, I planned to cook, clean, and help my sister find a wedding dress for her upcoming wedding even if it meant sewing one myself.
Instead, my sister and I hung out, ate homemade soup, watched a documentary, cut our hair, and read trashy magazines.
On the flight home, I started to panic.
I didn’t clean her bathroom.
I didn’t create meals and freeze food.
I didn’t sew her a wedding dress.
Then, I thought of times in my own life, times when I felt broken. I reflected on the people who supported me, and what they did to show support.
Lindy brought a peanut butter and jelly sandwich to the hospital.
Dusti created a very, berry parfait.
Leah listened to me rehash the same story again.
Krista chased me with a toilet brush until I allowed her to clean my bathrooms.
Steph made a cake in celebration of her being oxygen free.
Loraine paid bills.
Laura knew I needed a friend and visited.
Wendy babysat a screaming kid.
What do all of these acts of service have in common?
People took interest. People showered love. People understood that support isn't about the big things. Sometimes support just means showing up.
It's a good lesson from smart friends, one that I'm working hard to learn.
Can you think of a time when someone supported you by showing up?: :
Linking with Jen and counting the friends listed above as gifts on Multitude Mondays.
Pssst, have you heard about mushy, gushy, make your heart race, love letters?
42 comments:
Beautiful sheltering. I had a friend show up to pack my house. Another time, I had a group of friends who got together and cooked our family Thanksgiving dinner when my mother-in-law was in her final days on earth.
Pamela,
Now, that's a friend...showing up to pack your house? Beautiful gift.
Thanks for stopping by my blog today, Amy : ) You are so right. It's not always about what you do but how you love that makes the difference. The Bible tells us that LOVE never fails.
Sweet Blessings,
Pam
oh, amy. while practical help is such a blessing. . . the showing up is what i usually appreciate the most. it is what encourages my heart, helps me weather the storm, gives me renewed hope and energy. my mom has done this time after time after time for me over the years. each time she leaves, saying, "well, i really didn't do much." yes, mom, you did a whole bunch. you showed up. and in the showing up you pretty much plugged up all the small holes in the dam that were threatening to bust open.
great, great post, this one.
hugs, my friend,
steph
thanks for stopping by today.
i agree - time and just sharing self is so important... my favorite times with favorite people have been the most surprising and i treasure those moments.
thanks for sharing this truth so beautifully... i always enjoy stopping by your blog (when our internet is cooperating!)
blessings~!
I think we underestimate the "just being there" for someone. I am sure your weekend with your sister was priceless. Good for you for hopping the plane. Praying things start looking up for Sarah!
Love you!
I have been hearing God tell me what the church should be doing. Just show up. That's more important than doing. I know in my own struggles just to have a person say How can I help? Is worth more than them actually helping.
One time when I was in a surgery induced funk my friend called me up and said, "I'm taking you out for coffee." I said, "Can't go. I'm in my pj's and plan to stay in them." She said, "Then I'll wear mine too." And sure enough. She showed up on my front door step in her pajama's and we went for coffee in pink polka dotted jammies and sweat pants. And we just sat there and talked about nothing really and I remember it like it was yesterday. Yes, the gift of showing up is an effective one. Love that you and your sis got some time together.
Melody,
Ahh, that's the kind of friend I want to be. One that shows up in pink pj's, goes out to coffee, and talks about nothing.
i remember having a fussy 3 month old baby girl, being in a new city with no family and very few friends, and having our apartment all packed up to move to our new house. the only thing was that the movers we scheduled didn't show up.
i remember being slightly hysterical. lots of tears. lots of hormones. lots of phone calls to every moving company in the book. and husband running around crazy trying to move everything by himself. all while the baby cried of course.
then a certain friend just showed up with the most delicious sandwiches, fruit, and fancy tea drinks. we didn't get much moved out of the apartment. but just having her there meant the world and calmed my hysteria. and i started to realize that maybe this new place could be a home to me somehow.
wonder who that friend was? :)
Awww, love you, girl. Glad you decided to make NC your home.
oh my goodness. Yes. To just be able to pick up the phone and spill my heart...yes.
BTW, your link led to some mountain play space for kids. I fixed it. :)
A few years ago I was on my way to a wedding in Rochester, NY. My plane stopped in Pittsburgh and I got stuck there for the night due to plane problems. The next day the flight wasn't scheduled till afternoon so I rented a car and spontaneously went to see a friend who had just had a baby 2 weeks prior. Seemed simple but she gave me bad directions and I had to call my husband in FL and he directed me there using google maps. She lived almost one hour from the airport and in the most backwards little town I've ever seen, it was nerve racking to find my way there but for that one hour we visited, she was SO happy to see me and share her baby. It was worth it.
Rachel,
Loving on new moms? Yes. Required and always welcomed by the new mom.
Good job sticking through the bad directions. I may have turned around!
Amy,
Sometimes the beset support is just a listening ear. I'm so glad you were able to be there with your sister. I'm sure she was blessed. :)
I love this! I recently went to be with a sister diagnosed with cancer and the same thing happened and...it was wonderful!
Just being together. That's a gift. It's not about what we DO -- it's who we are and how we invest in what we do. Love this. (Yeah, I also love stories about sisters.)
Thanks for the vote of confidence you left on my blog today :) And I agree, simply showing up is sometimes just what the doctor ordered. Hugs, my friend! xoxo
I think listening is a gift, yet a lost art these days.
I am sure your kindness was better medicine than andy doctor could prescribe. Well done.
Yes, 5 years ago, when I was in a funk, a sweet friend came to my door and kept yelling, "I'm not leaving until you let me in". I let her in and we talked for hours. I felt much better after she left.
God has blessed me with many friends who have "come"to me and I pray I am always there for them.
Whenever my husband travels, one sweet friend cooks me dinner. Right now her husband is on a rare two week business trip. Tonight she called and told me to come pick up enchiladas and brisket. Even in her own "difficulty" she still thinks to love me this way.
joy
A perfect reminder at just the right time. I ran into a friend while going to my 31 week pregnancy appointment, she was leaving from a follow up miscarriage appointment. Having been through that, I remember how nice it was to have someone just let me feel. I offered the same to her and it was well received. Thanks!
Yes, yes, yes! It's the showing up! Love it! :)
on being there...yes, so much is just in the being...not so much the doing. How wonderful that you were able to visit with your sis, I imagine she's counting you as a blessing this week!
Oh yeah girl! So. Many. Times. I have some amazing friends and family.
When we found out that Judah might have DS or something else, a friend showed up that night with zucchini bread. Did we need it? No. But did we NEED it? Oh yeah. Her gesture was so much more than a gesture. Her little gift offering was water in the dessert.
Love this piece.
p.s. I notice that you often reply to comments in your own comments. You should think about getting DISCUS or one of those plug-ins that will allow you to comment back and it notifies them by email. There's a couple that work with Blogger! Just a thought. :)
Oh, I was so there last week!! (Not Denver) :-) My sister just had her second child and I went to "help" for a day. I sat on the couch watching re-runs of "Celebrity Wife Swap" while she slept, helped her soak her fee, and handed her the boppy when it was feeding time!! Then, a few days later when she ended up back in the hospital I sat with her and ate her crackers then went to she and her husband's house to "help" my mom with the now 2 kids. Of course, my mother didn't get me up in the night with the baby. Apparently it was just enough to know I was there--sleeping soundly. :-) Love this post!! I hope your sister is doing well. Will the cast be off before the wedding?
oh, this is so, so true! Great reminder that it's not that what we do so much as it is that we show up.
I've learned so much from friends who have loved me similarly. Beautiful list.
Yes, people taking an interest means so much. Just knowing that someone cares. What a lovely thing you did for your sister!
I was on bedrest of 5 months with my first pregnancy...and just having friends over to visit was great. For some, it would only be during their lunch break, but it was so nice to break up the day. I also had one friend who came and gave me a facial. It was heavenly. Great post!
one fact I know for certain is I owe, I owe I owe....so many people have helped me and my family I will stay out of trouble for life b/c I have too much paying back to do!!
I am your newest follower..pls follow back if you can.
That is awesome. (I always wish I had a sister.) I wrote about "those who show up" this week too. I want to be one of those people who shows up for others. Great post!
My husband thought I was crazy one time when I took a gift basket of Baskin Robbins ice cream flavors, toppings and whipped cream to a friend who had lost a baby. Sometimes people just need comfort - and nothing says comfort (besides God) more than ice cream:)
I was going to say, "Wish I had a sister like you" and then realized your point was that we treat our neighbors like our favorite sisters:)Can't wait to see the dress you get to make:)
I just became a grandma (or whatever my name is going to be) - I am so excited:) Wishing you tons of love and blessing during this special time:)
http://bluecottonmemory.wordpress.com/2012/01/12/blessing-for-a-granddaughter/
In our current season, this has made such an impact on me. I thought if I couldn't do something big, I wasn't being helpful. But then my friends starting showing up in the littlest ways - picking up my kids from school, picking ME up from preschool, calling/emailing at just the right time, baking a birthday cake for my man when I had pneumonia - and I realized that those little things really add up. And suddenly this season doesn't seem quite so overwhelming.
That looks like my sisters exray. Right before Christmas she fell and broke her right leg just above the ankle bone. It fractured into four different breaks she had two plates and 12 screws put in and is currently using a walking boot very carefully. I send her note cards almost weekly just to encourage her. Sisters are special so glad you had a chance to be with her.
What a beautiful post (and presence you were)... Its so true... It's never in the words said, or the things done... it's just in the presence of a loved one. I love it.
"Showing up" is a gift that is translated into love. My family and I have received that gift of our family and church family showing up as we recently grieved the sudden passing of my seemingly healthy mother-in-law. The support of loved ones showing up speaks volumes in times of grief and distress. It is priceless. Thank you for sharing, Amy.
So glad you were able to be there for her. I know it must have meant the world to her. I always wondered what it would be like to have a sister. You're the closest thing I have to that :) Oh, and I watched that documentary, too, just a couple of weeks ago. Interesting...
i'm thinking your sister loved your visit, and i bet the toilet is the last thing she's thinking about...
a friend showed up in the waiting room a few years ago when my son had an emergency appendectomy. i never understood that coming to the hospital and waiting with family. just waiting. what purpose? until then. he totally distracted us with conversation and i will never forget him for that.
now? now i go to the hospital and wait. just wait. and talk. ;)
patty @ findingserendipity.com
Post a Comment
Talk to me, friends.