I like stories, life stories.
Some (my husband) call this desire to learn pieces of the lives of others nosy.
I call it genuine interest.
I want to know why you chose that job, married your mate, took a trip to Sweden, and left Indiana. I want to know why you named your daughter Siri, hold a grudge against Cassie, cry when you hear that song, and still write your fifth grade teacher.
Yesterday, I watched a parade. A few feet from me stood a teen mom and her daughter. With each passing float, the mom guided her toddler out to the street and picked up Tootsie Rolls and Whoppers. Then, she quickly ushered the girl back to the sidewalk.
Some (my husband) view my fixation with people I don’t know staring.
I call it prolonged investigative looking.
Somewhere in between shrieking sirens and unicycling tweens, stuffed animals were thrown out to parade watchers.
The young mom walked over and offered us a stuffed pig. Her daughter had caught two. I wondered why the mom made that effort, why she lingered to talk, why she was alone, and where she lived.
As I adjust the way I approach giving, I've discovered one of the biggest gifts we can give is making time to learn the stories of those around us.
Questions for you: Are you able to go beyond surface level conversations? Are you interested in the stories of others? Do you share parts of your story freely?
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If you are a bit like me (a tad nosy and a lot interested) NPR's Story Corps bubbles with goodness.
Image credit.
26 comments:
This post describes me so much. Over here, we call it 'gist'. My friends all tease me about how much I love listening to gist (stories) and yeah, all life stories too! LOL
Yes, me too, a listener of stories. Not always a sharer of stories though.
Yep, I'm just like you:) As you know, I've been listening to people's stories all summer and fall this year. And yes, I also share my stories. They say one of the best ways to show love is to listen. And I have found that when you share your own story, it gives others courage to share their own. And it's in hearing others stories that healing can begin. I'm all for asking questions, listening and sharing my own even if it seems nosy. I actually think it shows love;)
Hey Amy, we are just alike in that I am interested in people and their stories. I love to hear them. Makes me gawk sometimes, but if I can strike up a conversation and help them in some way, then yea for Jesus!
I think one of the best ways to do this is to learn to ask good questions. (and teach our kids to ask good questions.)
fondly,
Glenda
I also enjoy watching others and listening to their stories... we can learn so much! and we can give the gift of really getting to know someone, which is really hard to do sometimes. great post!
yes and YES...I can be obsessed with others stories. I love knowing what makes others who they are and often I am surprised at what I find...not what they appear on the surface often. Also lots of hurts once you get inside. praying a week full of beauty for you friend
xo
I love this! Yes, this is so, so important -- such an act of love to want to truly know a person. I am challenged to make choices with my time that enable the opportunity to engage in heart conversations that allow for more than superficial sharing. Thanks, Amy!
I love people's stories. I call this "the little sociologist in me". I love figuring out what makes people tick, why they do things, how their particular groups of interests come together. Awesome!
yeah, i love hearing people's stories, love "staring" at them and the wondering. . . but being married to a policeman----well, call me all kinds of cynical (i know, shouldn't be, me being a nurse, and all), but i've become very hesitant about sharing my own story. comes with being a homeschooler, too, i suppose, and being blasted in unusual ways once that information somehow gets out in the conversation. makes me just want to shut myself up, take off for the hills, and never open my mouth again. but of course i can't :-) that darned curiosity always gets the best of me again. but my hubby keeps me in check. with a mere look he can tell me i'm running off at the mouth. . . yet again :-) so i pray. pray for the right opportunities. the right moments. the right people. and trust Him in that.
steph
My husband accuses me of nosiness, too! I happend to like eavesdropping on dinner conversations. On second thought, that does sound kind of nosey, doens't it?
Enjoyed this post, Amy.
Eavesdropping on dinner conversations? Guilty. But, can I defend myself and say not in a mean spirited-I-want-to-know-your-business-sort-of-way?
Some (my husband) call me aggressively friendly. Because I want to know you, and you, and really anyone. I love connecting with random strangers, even if I never see them again. I want them to know they mattered, for at least one moment. I want to share some of my story, and take some of theirs away with me. I love few things more than a friendly stranger.
Thee Fire Wife,
Ohhh, we'd be friends. Have you read Praying for Strangers?
http://www.amazon.com/Praying-Strangers-Adventure-Human-Spirit/dp/0425239640
This woman tells the story of asking God to show her a stranger to pray for every day for a year. Very fun.
As you may suspect, I am much better at deep conversations in which I ask probing questions than I am at idle chit-chat.
However, it definitely takes the Holy Spirit to get me to engage with strangers. Yep, that's the introvert in me!
I want to learn how to do this better. I mind my own business probably to a fault. Thank you for this enlightenment.
I get accused of the same thing. But, I genuinely am interested.
I always say I am a noticer. I notice others. What their body language says...how they interact with others.... their eyes...their faces... all of this has always fascinated me. People have always fascinated me. I ponder their stories and if I feel led I pray.
One of my favorite things is sitting at the mall and just watching and noticing. :) And hoping their story is what they want to be telling. And if not they they have an encounter that changes them.
I call it prolonged investigative looking. Adore this description! Yes. That is me ;)
I think that your wanting to know the stories of others is a gift - everyone wants to be noticed and known. That interest in others is ultimately a selfless, giving act.
I LOVE NPR's Story Corps! That and "This American Life" are my favorites.
Reading this post makes me see that your gift is not just in the telling, but it is in the seeing. I would want someone who tells and sees to tell my story.
Critty,
Oh, yes, I am going to tell my husband that I'm not nosy, I'm just a "noticer"! Airports are fun, and yes, there is so much to be read in the eyes of others.
Callie,
Glad to have another Story Corps fan. I love those little pieces of life told by others. It just makes me feel more ??? connected.
Always thinking like a teacher...I find it really helps to make time for kids' stories, Amy. Who doesn't like a little attention once in a while? And it IS a gift to take time and listen.
One day maybe you and I will get to sit down and share stories over coffee. Wouldn't that be FUN?
People long for connection. I think that is what makes blogging/fb so attractive to many people. We can a sense of connectedness with little discernible risk (of rejection, etc.)
Your post really put emphasis to a blog article I read just before linking here. It is about Mary the Mother of Jesus. If you'd care to read it you can find it here: http://thequietquill.blogspot.com/2011/12/theres-something-about-mary-part-four.html
It's an excellent article by a great writer.
Thanks for your visit to Family Fountain a while ago.
WB
Yesterday I asked my eye doctor why he became an eye doctor. People and their stories fascinate me. Taking time to listen to and honor the stories of one another is a way, I think, of bearing witness to the sacredness and value of every single human life. That's what I think. Then again, I'm one of those nosy people :)
Hi! Im so glad I found you:) I believe that GOD allows us to go through alot so that we may be a comfort to others,as he has done exactly this in my life.My story is like an onion and most say I should write a book about it.My sister was brutally murdered at the age of 12.I love to talk to people and my kids often ask me if I work for the FBI lol I have a problem with sharing freely my stories,but I feel that theyve made me who I am today.Deidre~ http://simplysimplisticated4.blogspot.com Do you think a person should write about their life experiences on their blog???Please let me know what you think:)
I love Story Corps, too. Did you read that story about the guy who was mugged and he ended up taking the kid to lunch. Cool story. Oh, and you're observant. This is good. That's what makes you such a good friend. You make people feel special. I love that about you :)
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