She Speaks commences in nine days.
But instead of writing, I decide to do some math.
Six hundred and forty-nine attendees + one me = Well, I’ve never excelled in math, but if I round up, which I think you are supposed to do, it comes out to somewhere around super overwhelmed.
Oh, and six hundred and forty-nine talented women, with rocking ideas and a passion for God + one me = slim chances.
Then, since my summer income, hovers somewhere around $ 0.00, and that is actually a smidge less than the required conference fee, you multiply the registration cost by my guilt, which has been uncharacteristically high, and I think the product = What the heck am I doing?
In addition, when I peek at my thirty-nine pairs of shoes and subtract the ones I feel don’t make the sassy-enough-to-be-worn cut, I come up with a resounding zero shoes available for conference wear.
Plus, I know my roommate through blogging, and there is a high percentage that when she meets me, she will think I am much nicer online, and she will say, “Wow, I didn’t realize you were so sarcastic and tall and that you wore such unsassy shoes, and therefore, I need to switch rooms.”
But instead of writing, I decide to do some math.
Six hundred and forty-nine attendees + one me = Well, I’ve never excelled in math, but if I round up, which I think you are supposed to do, it comes out to somewhere around super overwhelmed.
Oh, and six hundred and forty-nine talented women, with rocking ideas and a passion for God + one me = slim chances.
Then, since my summer income, hovers somewhere around $ 0.00, and that is actually a smidge less than the required conference fee, you multiply the registration cost by my guilt, which has been uncharacteristically high, and I think the product = What the heck am I doing?
In addition, when I peek at my thirty-nine pairs of shoes and subtract the ones I feel don’t make the sassy-enough-to-be-worn cut, I come up with a resounding zero shoes available for conference wear.
Plus, I know my roommate through blogging, and there is a high percentage that when she meets me, she will think I am much nicer online, and she will say, “Wow, I didn’t realize you were so sarcastic and tall and that you wore such unsassy shoes, and therefore, I need to switch rooms.”
I realize my thoughts are spiraling, and that this whole shindig isn’t about me. So, I stop with the math, and instead, I pray.
I pray that through this experience I learn more about God, learn more about myself, and learn more about writing.
Oh, and I would really appreciate any prayers you could toss my way too.
I pray that through this experience I learn more about God, learn more about myself, and learn more about writing.
Oh, and I would really appreciate any prayers you could toss my way too.
When is the last time you stretched yourself? What strategies did you use to get you through a time when you felt a little less-than?
35 comments:
HI Amy - As I'm in South Africa and I've been hearing about this conference for ages I am so jealous - I'd love to go - not a good Christian emotion, I know, but I mean it in the best possible way. Go, knowing how blessed you are that you CAN go. Enjoy it, learn from it, go with the intention to bless God and He will outbless you in buckets.
Will be praying for the whole shoe issue and more.
God bless
Tracy
Tracy,
Thank you! "Outbless me in buckets". Yes, I'd love that.
I know there are loads of people out there who would like to go, and I feel super blessed to even have the opportunity. Thanks for reminding me of that.
I appreciate your support.
oh, how much alike we are! i would have the same insecurities IF I GOT TO GO!!!!!!! I'm a mere 1.5 hours from the conference but as i am already double booked for the weekend, don't get to go. i am one pretty bummed person. there. my math. praying for you!
Kendal,
I hate that you are double booked becaue I'd love for us to get to hang out in real life. One day!
ps Did I tell you I go back to school August 3rd? Ugh! So soon.
Last summer I attended BlogHer {which was probably much, much different than what your conference will be!!} and I felt all of that spiraling and guilt and ohmygoodnesswhatamidoing??? But even just the chance to step away for a different sort of breath will be lovely :) Enjoy it!
Amy, trust me...my shoes will be less sassy than yours. I am not a shoe/fashion girl. So, put that worry to rest. ;)
Eileen,
I forgot you were going! Drop me an email. I'd love to hear the details of where you are with the whole process!
Amy, I can really relate to your math! God has really stretched me - is still stretching me - and I have felt so overwhelmed. The math doesn't add up. But thankfully God doesn't use the same math we use. He takes one woman(you) with a willing heart and comes up with endless possibilities, endless blessings.
Thanks for visiting Woman to Woman and A Moment with Blog. I appreciate your kind comments and I'm glad to have "met" you. I really like the way you write, so I'm going to start following you. Many blessings!
Just had to come by after you sent me that email.
I don't think I've ever ditched anyone because of unsassy shoes! I think you're safe from me asking for a reassignment, girl
Can't wait!
Oh, and of course, I'm praying for you!
Lisa,
Good to have you hear.
Jen,
Whew!
You're rooming with Jen? What fun! Can't wait to hear all about your adventures. From both of you.
I am well acquainted with that spiral.
I didn't know you were tall. Now I like you even better.
Don't try to do math in the summer. It will make your brain hurt. Or give you cramps. Or something.
Have a blast. I mean it!
I love when you write funny. This post is you. You are seriously one of the coolest people I know in every way, so put your worries on a shelf because it's going to be so good for you. Wish I was going with! Maybe I just won't leave when I come to see you this weekend, and you can sneek me in your suitcase, lol. Can't wait to hear all about it!
Amy, thank you for stopping by Woman to Woman Ministries and my blog, Sweet Blessings! So nice to "meet" you.
I can totally understand this blog. I find myself trying to measure up to others or even measure up to what I 'think' I am supposed to be, all of the time. But instead, I should be simply trying to be what God wants me to be. To stretch to that, and that alone.
I would so love to go to She Speaks!! Praying you have a wonderful time, many memories, and divine appointments!
Amy - I so appreciate your honesty and can only imagine how you must feel. But, you are super awesome and God gave you this opportunity! I did some pondering today on my blog...some of it was about fear. I have learned that Satan uses fear to keep me from the great things God has and therefore, it is wise to go after these terrifying things! He is with you and you will do great and I will pray!!
What an amazing opportunity, Amy. Sassy shoes or not, you will be a blessing. God made you as you -- beautiful, talented, gifted YOU! Clothe yourself in all that He made you to be. I can't wait to hear how it goes.
You deserve to go. You and your roommate are going to love each other. You will have the time of your life. Its always good to do some stretching!
Oh Amy, you are going to have a fabulous time!!! I went last year with my bloggy partner Kelli and we left completely inspired and changed and all for good! Don't fret, just get ready for ALL that God has for you and enjoy every moment :) So happy to meet you new friend!
I'm just jealous that you get to meet Jen and she gets to meet you and to top it all, in such a fun event :)
I know what you mean. There is nothing the evil one likes better than to attack our sense of worth. We are God's most beloved creation and He made you tall and a lover of shoes :) And like the song says: "You make everything glorious and I am yours, so what does that make me?" You will have a blast!
You and Jen will both ROCK this conference. Been around that spiral you're on, friend. Breathe deeply, say the Jesus prayer and know who you are: a beloved, gifted daughter of the Most High God. GO FOR IT.
Diana @ http://drgtjustwondering.blogpsot.com
Oh my goodness, I’m feeling the same way! Excited one minute, stressed the next. That’s great that you’re rooming w/ Jen. Let’s get together!
I going am too! I can't wait to meet you in person. Hey, how 'bout we both get us some white gogo boots or something. Now that would just be fun and surely would get you published. Ha!!! Oh, speaking of getting published...I have a funny story to tell you about a phone conversation I had with Sheila, the She Speaks chick who is setting up publisher and agent appts. I do hope you have one, my friend, because your day is coming for a book. I just know it. Anyways, I lined up an appt for the heck of it cuz you know, it was free and I've never met a publisher before in real life and it would make me feel all grown up and stuff. But apparently that's not what those appts are for. Those appts are for serious writers wanting to write a book for other adults to read. Duh! Writer's conference. And so I got weeded out pretty quickly. Sheila starts asking me questions about my "book"...first three chapters, title, audience, proposal package and I'm like "Uhhhh....I just wrote this cool story in third grade and it got published in our school newsletter and ya know...I just thought maybe I could ya know, um, show up with a blog post or two in hand." And then I started laughing and said, "Okay, I am clearly the reason you are having to call everyone who has made a publisher appointment for the conference, aren't I?" She laughed and whole heartedly agreed. Ha! So um yeah, I'm just a wee bit intimidated by the whole thing but I'm sooo excited about it. I can't wait to learn more about writing. I love it and yet have no clue what the heck I'm doing.And I cannot wait to meet you. We've gotta look each other up while we're there. I'll email you my cell so you can text me during the boring parts. I'm kidddding. I really am taking it seriously. I know I'm scaring you with all the sass but I'm just making up for your lack of sassy shoes, that's all. See ya girl!
I wanted to go to that conference, but it often falls at exactly the wrong time for me to attend. It did that again this year.
Some friends of mine are involved in the organization and will be there. Isn't Ann V. speaking, too?
May you be filled with and focused on things that matter far more than cute shoes (though I'm sure you'll see plenty).
annkroeker.com
The math stuff, by the way, cracked me up every time. Fun. And funny.
Strategies? Prayer, prayer, prayer!
I'm so excited for you and this conference. Can't wait to hear how it goes. I'm already praying. I emailed you...
Have fun, learn, stretch, grow. You'll be GREAT!
I'm pretty sure I would feel the same way you do right now if I was going; but, I'm also pretty sure that you will do fine-you write beautifully and seem to have a wonderful heart. And I bet Jen will love you:)
And insecurities and stretching? Well, for one thing, I stepped out of leadership to take some seminary classes to improve my teaching/speaking which is my passion-I'll start in September. And the other-starting a blog. Now that tapped into some insecurities that's for sure!
I hear ya' about insecure! Why is it instead of preparing our hearts we turn to our wardrobe! I hope your time is amazing and the richness of fellowship and learning overshadows your shoes!
Ah, Amy, I am short and hate shoes . . . maybe we could be roomates. Oh yeah, I am not going . . . but can't wait to hear from you and Jen afterwards. Praying for wonderful surprises for you both.
Fondly,
Glenda
I am praying for you...that you will have a wonderful time, that your heart will be fed, that you will have a fabulous connection with your roommate, that you will touch lives of people you come in contact with while there, and that you will be touched, that God will calm your anxiety and give you peace, and that you will be able to filter out all the noise and hear His voice.
As far as the shoes go, you are probably on your own, I would offer to lend you some of mine, but mine are lacking in sufficient sassiness as well.
Here is the REAL MATH sista:
You + God + Prayers of all the people who love and support you from here to eternity =
One blessedly fun, goose-pimply-good, wonderful conference!
I BELIEVE in you! Trust in yourself. Go knowing your writing glorifies and pleases God and He IS holding you, not matter what your shoes look like! (You ALWAYS look "hot" btw!) He wants you at this conference!! You touch lives for Him Amy- how encouraging. (I think you are amazing!) Now, take a deep Holy-Spirit filling breath and let Phil.4:13 be your mantra- "You CAN do ALL THINGS through Christ who strengthens you!" I pray you go in peace and love, serving the Lord! And HAVE FUN!! I love you.
3 simple strategies
1. Don't look down
2. Trust God
3. Have fun!
Can't wait to hear more about your experiences...and how awesome that you get to room with Jen!
Kim
Hi Amy:
I attended She Speaks two years ago. Relax, enjoy, and just trust in God. I promise you will have a wonderful time and believe me, those girls at P31 have been praying for each attendant. They emphasized that there isn't competition...the Lord has a place and a purpose for us all.
Blessings,
Joan
I am learning that God intentionally gave us our weaknesses so that we would learn how desprately we need to depend on Him. and when to notice "Hey, God just did that. Because I know me, and I am completely incapable of accomplishing that in my strength."
I Love your post and am excited to get to know you better. I found you through, "Storing Up Treasures".
http://beautifulmommyrom1015.blogspot.com/2011/07/redecorating-our-weakness.html
oh amy i'm so excited for you... may God go with you, friend, and pave your way with peace. xo
Ok this totally made me laugh out loud, especially the unsassy shoe part. When I registered to attend Relevant (October) my first thought was, "Oh good. I'll be done Shop-Not so I won't look like a raggedy, unhip, unfashionable schmork." Seriously, a conference about blogging intentionally for God, and I think with relief that I'll be able to buy a new pair of boots.
Oh. And I'm wicked jealous that you're going to She Speaks!
This was such a great post! Loved the honesty - aren't we women all so alike? You're going to be great, and how cool is it that Jen and you are rooming together?!
Blessings to you, friend!
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