Did you know there is an app to rate your sexual performance? Oh, yeah. It involves the use of a microphone, but it’s a real thing.
And did you know, there is an app that allows you hit an imaginary stapler over and over and keep score of how many times you’ve stapled a pretend object? Imagine the fun.
And did you know, there is an app that blows out your birthday candles because really, who wants to blow out their own birthday candles?
When I think of these goofy things, I also think of the complaint that so often rolls out of my mouth, “If I only had more time. . .” Imagine a really whiny voice.
It’s not that I’m spending all my time on crazy apps, but reading about these apps pushed me to think about where I spend my time, and what I long to do when I capture free moments.
The idea of teaching a creative writing class to kids at a local shelter. Now, there’s an idea that won’t leave me alone.
What about you? What distractions keep you too busy to start or finish things you long to do? What are you working to eliminate from your life?
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A good read:
Too many distractions! Along the same lines, I’m in the middle of Chapter 2 of Not So Fast: Slow-Down Solutions for Frenzied Families by Ann Kroeker, and I’m actually agreeing with her aloud. Loads of great information and easy-to-implement solutions. Practical, practical.
If you want some "slow-down" ideas for you and your family, check it out.
22 comments:
tv. scrabble on th kindle.
I feel like anything can be a distraction for me, but I tend to easily get sidetracked from one thing to the next on the internet. One blog leads me to one link, which leads me to explore this site, and on and on. I have to set some guidelines for my blogging life. I feel it's the least productive use of my time because I let it lead me on rabbit chases almost every day.
Wow, Amy, I had no idea that such fun things existed! God only knows what other pitiful apps are out there. I don't waste my time on those, but like Lori, I tend to get lost in the blogosphere, chasing rabbit after rabbit only to realize that I've just wasted 2 hours. Void
My friend doesn't think I know. She painstakingly covers clues with make-up, perfectly coiffed hair and a bubbly personality; but I discern a secret. I acknowledge because I once hid, too. Intelligent, funny, caring, hard-working, a good mom and a great friend; she doesn't see her worth. All she sees is fat.
She struggles to fill her empty place with people and life and things, but nothing impregnates the void. No remedy exists for her guilty, blaming, self-loathing, deprived spirit. Trapped in a vast chasm of denial and longing, she medicates her duplicity. Food is her drug of choice. Redoubled sedation numbs the painful past while dulling the harsh present. It brings fullness to the vacuum and peace to the moment. It feeds her body while depleting her soul.
Hypocrisy engulfs her desperate attempts at escape. She talks the skinny language while engorging. Her mantra is diet and exercise; her practice indulgence and inactivity. She stuffs herself into clothes too small, trying to disguise the newest 30 pounds. Her corpulent figure imprisons a hope deferred.
My heart aches for the pain she feels, the master manipulator she's become. She deceives only herself. What solvent can possibly dissolve the scales from her eyes? What solution can I offer? And then I think of Him. He is the love she craves.
Every night I pray for my friend. I pray she learns to love herself. I pray she will possess the strength to fight. I pray she will find peace and healing, hope and forgiveness. But most of all, I pray she will realize that nothing and no one can ever perfectly fit the God-spot at the core of her being. I pray for the words that will lead her to You.
Void
My friend doesn't think I know. She painstakingly covers clues with make-up, perfectly coiffed hair and a bubbly personality; but I discern a secret. I acknowledge because I once hid, too. Intelligent, funny, caring, hard-working, a good mom and a great friend; she doesn't see her worth. All she sees is fat.
She struggles to fill her empty place with people and life and things, but nothing impregnates the void. No remedy exists for her guilty, blaming, self-loathing, deprived spirit. Trapped in a vast chasm of denial and longing, she medicates her duplicity. Food is her drug of choice. Redoubled sedation numbs the painful past while dulling the harsh present. It brings fullness to the vacuum and peace to the moment. It feeds her body while depleting her soul.
Hypocrisy engulfs her desperate attempts at escape. She talks the skinny language while engorging. Her mantra is diet and exercise; her practice indulgence and inactivity. She stuffs herself into clothes too small, trying to disguise the newest 30 pounds. Her corpulent figure imprisons a hope deferred.
My heart aches for the pain she feels, the master manipulator she's become. She deceives only herself. What solvent can possibly dissolve the scales from her eyes? What solution can I offer? And then I think of Him. He is the love she craves.
Every night I pray for my friend. I pray she learns to love herself. I pray she will possess the strength to fight. I pray she will find peace and healing, hope and forgiveness. But most of all, I pray she will realize that nothing and no one can ever perfectly fit the God-spot at the core of her being. I pray for the words that will lead her to You.
Wow, Amy, apparently I'm really sheltered! While I don't waste my time on dumb apps, I find myself wasting time in the blogosphere, wanderig down endless trails, and losing hours at the time. Thanks for provoking thought - I've got some stuff to work on!
Wowzers, I knew there were some wild apps out there, but I hadn't heard of those! Crazy!
I have yet to get a smart phone. That's partly because my ancient phone still works and partly because I'm worried I'll be super distracted by it. However, I should admit I *do* steal my husband's iphone frequently. :)
Thank you for the book suggestion. It sounds right up my alley!
Have a wonderful day, Amy!
Maybe you should bring this book with you to a certain hotel in North Carolina??? Sounds like it would be right up my alley.
Oh, and that kid's creative writing class? You would SO ROCK that.
Hi Amy,
The Internet, particularly the FB and blogosphere. These sites 'stole' most of my quality time at home.
I'm thinking about what robs me of time but in the meantime...I have to admit...I can't stop thinking about the "rate you sexual performance" app and the microphone...and how do those two go together... Oh, Amy, now I'm going to waste time on Google trying to figure that out! ;)
right now my answer is "trying to frickin' figure out the art of extreme couponing". I swear I wonder if it's worth it.
Your title is hilarious. I bet you got a million hits on this one post. Ha! You are clever my friend. And you make me laugh. Waiting for the day me, you and Kendal get to meet in real life.
Oh, and by the way, I'm so getting the blow your bday candle out app. Is that not a big boy toy or what???? I'll refrain from making a comment about men having to be the ones who made up these apps. I just won't even go there.
Those are crazy apps. I had no idea that was what it is like in the land of smart phones. scary.
I love the idea of you teaching a creative writing class for kids at the shelter. That is brilliant.
I have a list of things I haven't finished and I can't decide if I'm being lazy or it's just not the right time to do it.
The internet sucks up my time. And I'm sure that if I ever actually experience Angry Birds, I will be lost forever.
Great post title! :-)
Gaby,
Ha! Pretty funny, yes?
Melody,
I would love to meet up with you and Kendal. That would be super fun, and the app that blows out bday candles is the worst. Did you watch the little video? Look how long it takes for the phone to actually blow!
Deidra,
Angry Birds, yep, I know people do it, but I'm pretty sure I will never try it!
Hey Amy, been keeping up with you but haven't had a lot of time for posting. Hope you are doing well. Love your ideas for giving back and think that you teach a class for kids would be great! Now after this post, I gotta reorganize! Maybe that is what is taking up all my time? Take care....
Hey Amy, been keeping up with you but haven't had a lot of time for posting. Hope you are doing well. Love your ideas for giving back and think that you teach a class for kids would be great! Now after this post, I gotta reorganize! Maybe that is what is taking up all my time? Take care....
I've been too busy or distracted or whatever lately to make time to visit nursing home residents. It's a thought that's nagged in the back of my mind for several weeks now. I called just this week and set up a time to take my children to share some kindness with our older neighbors.
working on eliminating...hum.
relationships that tear down and do not like it when a good thing happens to you.
ok..I said it:)
a microphone to rate my sexual performance..really? a big lol!
xo
How will I ever explain to my mother that my book Not So Fast is referenced in a post with the words "sexual performance" in the title? :-)
Seriously, though, I love your point about how we spend the time we're given. and I love your creative writing class idea.
Finally, I hope you feel like we're hanging out together, chatting on these topics, while you turn the pages of Not So Fast!
http://annkroeker.com
Oh, Ann,
I meant to drop you an email and let you know I referenced you!
First off, I'm really, really enjoying your book. All around great idea, but I love that you give readers practical solutions. This summer has been especially hard for me with an endless list of activities, some sky high expectations I've put on myself, and loads of overbooking. Anyway, when I started reading Not So Fast, I was hesitant because it seemed like just another thing on my to-do list. Instead, it has turned out to be a blessing and exactly what I need in my life right now.
Second, glad you thought the post was silly...after I posted it, I thought, yikes, I hope she is fine with me referencing her in the same post as I'm talking about silly apps.
Anyway, thanks again.
Amy! I remember when this title scrolled by the other day and I thought, "I need time to sit and read this one!"
I intentionally will not buy a phone any smarter than I am because I want to put as much distance as possible between me and that temptation.
I have never, not once, played angry birds on my phone or anywhere else.
And I love that you referenced Ann's book. I a long, convoluted way, reading another's review of it was what got me blogging in the first place.
Maybe I should read it?
Nancy,
Yep, you should read. Not just great ideas, but great writing!
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