This was me when I realized that apparently different browsers make sites show up differently to people who view them. You know if you have good ‘ol Internet Explorer 7 or an older version of Foxfire, well then my blog looks less than perfect.
Less than perfect? Listen up, I can’t have anything less than perfect. I can’t have a date running through my post title. I can’t have my navigation bars all the way over to the right…no siree. That is not aesthetically appealing, and I well, I um, can’t deal with it.
So I run down the list of what usually happens in my world when things are less than perfect: freak out, complain, obsess, attempt to search the internet for a variety of things that won’t help me, and finally breathe (Note: The above stated behaviors can be applied to almost any situation and unfortunately extend for an unspecified period of time).
I know my thinking isn’t right, but I’m hard on myself…often, and I’ve gone on with this must-be-perfect attitude for years.
Then today as I was driving through the rain, it came to me. God knows all of my flaws- each and every nasty little secret, and what’s worse is I have no way of trying to put on a happy face for him, ever.
Ouch. So hard and yet so freeing.
God has some serious patience for me when I kid myself into thinking that I have everything together, and later He smiles when the fog lifts, and I remember how great He is and how tiny I am.
So for today instead of thinking about GIVING GRACIOUSLY to others, I’m going to GIVE GRACIOUSLY to myself. I’m giving myself permission to be flawed, and it feels good.
7 comments:
Oh so true. My perfectionism drives me crazy. It's something I'm working on. Sometimes--like today, when I got home from running errands, glanced in the mirror and saw a big blob of chocolate cake batter dried on my cheek-- life makes me laugh at myself, trying to be Miss Perfect. I think I can hear God laughing right along with me.
Thank you for the reminder!
"Give graciously to myself" - Wow, if that isn't a loaded statement! Not just in accepting our flaws and less-than-perfect situations, but also in being kind to ourselves in giving spiritual, physical, emotional support. As opposed to running ragged, stressing out with pressure and too much to do. We can't give to others unless we take care of ourselves first.
Thanks for the reminder!
Ooh, such insight! I love it. We're often much harder on ourselves than anyone else. Why? God wants us to be kind to ourselves, too. Thanks for the help.
Thanks everyone for reminding me I'm not alone in my silly, but daily struggle for perfection.
Amy, there are a ton of us "recovering perfectionsists" out there. Thanks for sharing your own struggle. I love the blogosphere because it helps us support one another!
I struggle with being a perfectionist often. LOVE this post... sounds just like me. Were you in my head?? LOL
Thanks for the great post and letting me know I'm not alone.
By the way, thank you so much for visiting and commenting on my blog Jesus and Stuff.
Have a blessed day!!
Karen
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