Sunday, June 6, 2010
This was me when I realized that apparently different browsers make sites show up differently to people who view them. You know if you have good ‘ol Internet Explorer 7 or an older version of Foxfire, well then my blog looks less than perfect.
Less than perfect? Listen up, I can’t have anything less than perfect. I can’t have a date running through my post title. I can’t have my navigation bars all the way over to the right…no siree. That is not aesthetically appealing, and I well, I um, can’t deal with it.
So I run down the list of what usually happens in my world when things are less than perfect: freak out, complain, obsess, attempt to search the internet for a variety of things that won’t help me, and finally breathe (Note: The above stated behaviors can be applied to almost any situation and unfortunately extend for an unspecified period of time).
I know my thinking isn’t right, but I’m hard on myself…often, and I’ve gone on with this must-be-perfect attitude for years.
Then today as I was driving through the rain, it came to me. God knows all of my flaws- each and every nasty little secret, and what’s worse is I have no way of trying to put on a happy face for him, ever.
Ouch. So hard and yet so freeing.
God has some serious patience for me when I kid myself into thinking that I have everything together, and later He smiles when the fog lifts, and I remember how great He is and how tiny I am.
So for today instead of thinking about GIVING GRACIOUSLY to others, I’m going to GIVE GRACIOUSLY to myself. I’m giving myself permission to be flawed, and it feels good.